My Drug Dealer (Re-editing)

Episode 13

"Mama I'm back with Ryan." I look at Ryan as I lightly push him forward inside the house. "Wow your house is so..." He pauses looking around. "Yeah I know. It's small and something you're not use to." He shakes his head. "No. I was gonna say comfy. This house feels like a happy home." 

"I appreciate you saying that. Thank you and good evening." Ryan jumps in his spot and I chuckle a little. "Hello Ms. Jefferson." Mama waves him off. "Ms. Jefferson? Baby I ain't old yet, call me Lauren." Ryan nods cutely. "Trey told me a lot about you Ryan." She says glancing at me blushing wildly. I tap Ryan's shoulders.

"My mama is cooking tonight. And trust me, it's gonna blow your mind." My mama hums. "Yes, you gonna wanna stay here forever." He blushes hiding his face. "He's so cute." She touches his cheek squeezing it. "Trey go show him your room until the food is done." I nod grabbing his bag. "Yes ma'am. Ryan follow me."

I say while winking at him. We go up the stairs and go to my room. My room is 2 doors down to my mama room. I'm glad I cleaned my room before he came. We walk in and I close the door. I sit on my bed as he looks around.

"You play basketball?" I hear him ask as I turn on the tv. "Yeah I play sometimes." He hums and looks at me.

"Who do you play with?" He comes to sit beside me. "Just the homies. Chris and Messiah." He fidgets with his fingers. "Trey. I don't know if I have the right to say this but, I don't like Chris." I frown raising an eyebrow. "Uhm, well I appreciate you telling me how you feel about my homie but may I ask why?"

"He just looks at me weird. And I told La'Tasha. It makes me uncomfortable and at the movies he kept asking me was I single. I think he likes me." I nod licking my lips. "Alright. Just don't worry about it. I'll talk to him for you."

"You promise?" I nod. "Yeah I promise." He sticks his pinky finger. I playfully roll my eyes sticking my pinky finger up. We lock our pinky fingers. "And I appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me." He nods and smiles. "Of course I trust you. I wouldn't be here if I didn't." I lick my lips and hum. His lips look so good right now. I should kiss him. "Hey Ryan?"

"Yeah?" I look at his lips. "Can I umm..." My phone rings interrupting me and I sigh in annoyance seeing boss man name flash on my screen. I ignore it glancing at Ryan. 

"You should answer, it might be important."

"You sure?" He nods and stands up while fixing his pants. My gaze falls on his butt and I sigh feeling myself getting hard. He turns around and I look at his eyes. "Yes I'm sure and besides I want to see how your mom cooks." 

"Okay." He smiles and walks out of the room leaving me with a massive boner. My phone rings again and I answer the phone in annoyance. "Yeah?"

"Trey. My good right hand man. Where are you?"

"Just got home." I roll up a blunt. Every time I talk to boss man I need a blunt. "That's good. Because I need you tonight." I just left him yesterday. So how could he possibly need me? "Why? I thought I was done for the week." I hear him chuckle. "You're my right hand man. I need my right hand man to come down to this meeting with me."

"And why can't you get Chris or Messiah to go with you?" I light up the blunt putting it to my mouth inhaling it and blowing out smoke. "They have their own thing to worry about. And besides they aren't as good as you." I smack my lips not believing that shit. How he know that I don't got nothing to do? My door opens revealing Ryan causing me to smile.

"Lauren said that the food is ready." I nod. "Alright I'll be down in a minute." He nods going out the room and I hear boss man chuckling. "You finally got yo self somebody huh?"

"Yeah something like that." I hear him laugh and I move the phone away from my ear. That loud ugly ass laugh. "Finally. But back to what I told you earlier will you be with me tonight?" I smack my lips. I was planning on staying in and watching movies with Ryan. Guess thats out the window. "Yeah. Yeah I'll be there."

"Excellent. I'll have my wife send you the information. " I inhale the blunt. "Yeah." I say as I blow the smoke out. "See you tonight." He hangs up and a few minutes later I receive the information. I toss my phone on the bed leaning back looking up to the ceiling. Fuck man. Bitch ass nigga doing too much. I wanted to stay in with Ryan.

I smoke the blunt for a few minutes and then I put the blunt out. Sighing, I get up and get out of my room. I go downstairs hearing laughter.

I'm glad my mama love Ryan. It brings a smile on my face. I walk into the kitchen. I see my mama and Ryan dancing. I lean on the wall. "Mama I thought you said the food was done." I ask scaring Ryan. He faces me putting a hand on his heart. "You scared me."

I kiss his head. "It smells good in here." Mama chuckles. "Boy when has it never?" I smirk at my mama thinking of a good way to tease her. "That one day when you were lazy." She hits my shoulder making me laugh. The one thing she don't like is being called lazy with her cooking. She can throw it down in the kitchen.

"Hey mama I'm sorry. I mean that chicken didn't hit as it usually do." Of course that's a lie. Her fried chicken be smacking. "Boy I'd beat yo ass if Ryan wasn't here." She threatens me with the spoon she used for the collard greens. And her collard greens be smacking too. I be going for thirds for real. "Mama you know I'm just kidding. I love you and your food."

Ryan POV

Seeing Trey and his mom interact made me feel happy for them but at the same time I'm sad. My parents don't have conversations with me. We don't even laugh and joke around. I'll be counted lucky if they even look at me. I don't wanna mess up their moment. So I excuse myself.

"Umm excuse me, where's your bathroom?" I say which makes them stop laughing. "Are you okay Ryan?" Lauren asks me in a motherly concerning tone, something my mom doesn't do for me. I nod wanting to leave from this kitchen before I break down and they give me pity. I don't like pity. I don't even like when Kevin looks at me with pity it makes me feel weak. "Yes I'm alright. I just need to use the bathroom."

"The first door to your left." I nod thanking her and I rush to the bathroom. I go into the bathroom closing and locking the door. I slide down the door. Why can't my parents love me? Is it because of who I am? Or is it because I'm in their life?

I should just kill myself. I know that they'll be happy. No one will even miss me. I'm just a walking failure. I dig into my pocket pulling out a silver razor. I stare at it thinking of one thing. Cutting myself.

WARNING SELF HARM

I sob silently again as I bring the sharp cold razor to my white skin. I drag across my wrists feeling better with myself.

I cut myself more but I stop when I hear footsteps. I put the razor in my pocket and I wipe the blood from my wrist and the white tile floor and I hear a knock on the door. "Ryan, are you okay?" I clear my throat standing up. "U-um yes. I had to use the restroom."

"Are you sure? It looked like you were gonna cry." I exhale a breath pulling down my shirt sleeve. "Yes, I'm sure." I close my eyes hoping he goes away. "Open the door." I open my eyes making sure I look presentable. I relax and open the door. Immediately getting pulled into a hug. I relax into hug smelling his cologne. I hug him back.

"I'm sorry." I raise my eyebrow in confusion.  "Why are you saying sorry? I should be saying sorry. I walked out on your mom." He chuckles and I feel his chest vibrate. "No you shouldn't. I'm saying sorry because I don't know how your relationship with your parents are but it was like I was throwing my parent in your face."

"Where's your dad?" He goes silent for a moment. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you that. That's your business." He shakes his head. "Your good. He umm left on my 9th birthday." I look up at him. "Are you okay about that?"

He ignores me and kisses my forehead. "I'll live." I slowly nod as he pulls away. "Thank you for the hug." He smirks making me confused. I do too. "You want another hug don't you?" I nod excitedly. "Yes. Yes I do."

I hug him grinning while blushing. His hugs make me feel safe. "Alright I know your hungry." We pull away. "Yes I am." 

"Let's take you Soul Heaven then." I giggle. "Is that what you call it?" He nods. "Of course I do. Your soul is gonna go to Heaven."

"You ate that, left no crumbs." I say which causes Trey to raise an eyebrow. "Who taught you that?"

"La' Tasha. It was on this tiktok." He shakes his head chuckling. "We gone talk about that later. But for right now, let's go your soul awaits." He grabs my hand causing butterflies to twirl in my stomach and we walk to the kitchen. I want to forever hold his hand. He's making me fall in love day by day.