Denial Demeanor | Kenma Kozume

Chapter 9: An Imaginary Vision

A week passed by, you were in your class while the teacher discussed the important reasons why language is important and all that, blah, blah blah. Kenma was sitting two seats to your right, listening intently.

The teacher made an example on a student on how would they ask for help when their house is burning. Then Kenma got called on.

He stood up.

"Mr. Kenma, can you show me how you would tell a girl that they look pretty?" Kenma nodded. "Okay, show it to... Ms. Y/n."

The whole classroom squealed. Kenma tapped his chin with the top part of his hand, pointed at you and gave a thumbs up and then sitting back down. You kicked your feet, smiling from ear-to-ear.

You finally calmed down, and approached Kenma. "Am I really--" You tapped your chin the same way he did earlier, teasing him. "No. I actually did this." He says, repeating the action but with a thumbs down.

"Oh shut up, my seatmate told me what you did."

After school, you agreed to walk with Kenma home.

"We're going to make a detour, is that alright for you?"
"Sure."

You two bought snacks from the convenient store and eating it in front of Kenma's house. 

"So.. how are you?" Kenma started, trying to initiate a conversation. "Pretty good, you?"

"I'm.. fine."
"How's your girlfriend?" You sarcastically say, remembering the girl he was with last time around. "I don't know.." Kenma stayed silent for a moment. He seems hesitant. But he responded.

"How are you?" He asks. Confused, you say; "I'm good."

"Well then, my girlfriend's feeling good." He whispers. You heard it by a small bit. Your face got warmer, your heart started pumping faster. "What? It's true, isn't it?"

"I'm not your girlfriend.." You mumble. "Not yet." He smiles.

Suddenly, you heard beeping.

You slowly open your eyes to the sun hitting your face. "What.." You grumble, disappointed that it was only a dream.

The day went on as usual, but to your surprise once again- Kenma is seen napping under the shade while the 3 cats were gathered around him.

The calico one on his left,
the white cat on his right,
and the black cat on his lap.

His mouth slightly open and his hair falling onto his face perfectly.

You approached him slowly and sat beside him, taking in the amazing view again. Glancing over to Kenma, you see that he's sound asleep.

You inhaled sharply. You took the chance once again to tell him your feelings, hoping he's actually asleep this time.

"You.. don't like me much, don't you?"
"But.. why is it that you keep pushing yourself onto me? When I certainly know that you never put any effort into anything except volleyball."

You look up at the leaves, the sun shining through the gaps. You continued.

"You could have anybody. Why me?" You didn't want to sound too cocky but it was how you felt. Everything you could think of, you said it. 2 years and counting, you have fallen for this cat-like boy. The boy who doesn't have much energy to give it his all.

One could say he's not worth your time. But your heart tells you he is. He is worth your time. Your efforts, your love.

But..

Does he feel the same way?
Does he think of you as a lifelong partner?

You didn't want to assume. You needed to confirm it but what if your guesses are all correct? Then you would be a laughingstock of the school.

"Girl confesses to Kenma Kozume, rejected."

All in big bold red letters on the school page. You shivered. You couldn't risk it.

..But you did. You told him your feelings.

Your eyes started to become glossy. These thoughts filling up your mind bit by bit- eating up your feelings.

You sobbed, wiping your tears away with your handkerchief. With your shaky hands, you dropped it close to Kenma.

Reaching out to grab it, someone else did.

Kenma.

"Hey, what are you crying for?" He asks you, a glimpse of concern in his eyes. Instead of giving you the handkerchief back, he used it to wipe the tears rolling down your cheek as you sniffled.

"Come on, stop crying." He coos, the cats waking up and pushing themselves against you- purring as they did.

"Since when did you wake up?" You hic, placing your hands on the soft grass while Kenma continued to wipe the continuous flow of tears from your face.

"I felt a soft brush on my skin so I woke up."

Your mouth dropped into an 'o' shape. Pretty embarrassing for Kenma to see you crying.

-

After a while, you calmed down. "You feeling alright now?" Kenma asks, cocking his head slightly. You hummed in confirmation. "Let's get back inside, then?"

"Sure."

Even though the day ended with you walking with Kenma home, it was still great to be his friend.

..even though you like him until today.

2 years of suppressed feelings, when will you let them out? Tell him how much you love him to the moon and back.

But you're afraid of getting rejected.

Will you stay by his side as his friend forever or take the risk to tell him the truth?