Whispered Promises of Love

The Lookout

I have to escape the tatters of my ruined life, so I flee to the outdoors. Hiking, camping, and rock climbing have always been in my blood, but all my friends say I might have overdone it. They could be right.

But one look at my view makes me secure in my decision. I have a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree panorama of the majestic North Cascade mountain range in a remote part of north-central Washington, with near unlimited visibility on this cloudless July morning. Precipitous, snow-capped summits reach for the blue sky in every direction. Deep emerald forests extend as far as the eye can see in the valley below.

I'm standing on the perimeter balcony of the Castle Butte fire lookout tower, watching the sunrise with a steaming mug of coffee. The lookout is a fourteen-foot square wooden hut perched on the tip of a mountain. Glass windows line every side to provide an unobstructed view of the surrounding forests. Inside is everything I need to spot forest fires. Plus, all the supplies I need to survive. The next closest human is a day's hike away.

So yeah, maybe I went a little overboard when I quit my job, left all my electronics at home, and hiked out here with nothing but my clothing, a few supplies, and about twenty gay romance novels. But after what I've been through in the last couple of months, I think it's understandable.

The crackle of the portable satellite radio sounds from inside the cabin, my single tether to humanity. "Ethan, this is Allie at Cougar Ridge Station. Do you copy? Over."

I open the cabin door and enter the sparse confines of my summer residence. The handheld radio sits on the desk.

"Allie, this is Ethan at Castle Rock Station. I read you. Over."

"Hey, Ethan, good to hear your voice. We have a lost hiker. Pretty far from you, but I wanted to give you a heads-up. Caucasian female, twenty-six, red jacket, last spotted yesterday afternoon. Over."

"Copy that. I'll keep an eye out for her. Over."

"Also, you might see a few search and rescue people in your area. Might get kinda crowded. And by that, I mean you might actually see another person. Over."

I chuckle to myself. "I consider myself warned. Over."

There's a bit of a pause before the next transmission.

"How you doing out there, Ethan? You holding up? Over." Allie's voice, which is usually all business, has softened.

"Yeah. Thanks for asking. I'm doing fine. Over."

"Okay. Know that I'm here if you need to talk. It can get lonely out there. Over."

Her concern is well-meaning, but like always, it triggers bad memories. I moved out here to avoid that.

"Copy that. I'm good for now. I'll let you know if that changes. Over and out."

I turn off the radio and cry a little as the thoughts of my ex-husband Cameron flood my mind. The memory of me walking in on him cheating with our mutual best friend, Ryan, is still vivid, despite being almost six months ago. I came out here to be as disconnected as possible because everything reminded me of the life I once had. But I shake off those memories, tighten my boots, and throw some supplies in my pack. Time to head out for my daily hike.

Getting down from Castle Butte is always an adventure. One of the more technical fire watch lookouts to get to, it requires some moderate rock climbing skills. It's about two hundred feet from the top of the lookout tower to the valley below. Most of it is just a rock scramble, jumping from bolder to bolder. But there are one or two spots where the wrong move could send you falling to your death.

When I get to the bottom, looking up at the cliff I just scaled down makes my head spin a little. It always looks more dramatic from this angle.

I'm standing at the side of a trail that extends both directions. To the east, it runs along a ridge for about ten miles, where it meets trail crossroads. That's the way to civilization, but to get there is at least a two-day hike.