bravertz - oneshots

I.

„i could hide myself behind you and maybe, that was all i needed."

It was one of these games. The ones where you could do whatever you want but nothing works. No matter how many chances you had to score, you couldn't, you didn't. It was almost laughable, how much bad luck they had today. Playing a team that is playing on top of the league, wasn't helping either.

At least they were now facing the last five minutes. The standings? Their guests were leading 0:3. They got humbled in their own stadium, at home. Some of their fans were already leaving.

Kai understood them. The only thing he wanted to do right now is leave this pitch and hide somewhere. Preferably with someone who understands him and also won't judge him or the team. Of course they had to look into things the following days, but right now he just wanted it to end.

Instead he was getting the ball again. The second he got it, he tried to pass to one of his teammates. Because at this point he can't take the responsibility anymore. He found Julian, standing a few meters away from him at the right side. He seemed ready to run. So Kai passed him the ball and he was right. The second he got it, Julian started to run towards the goal, that denied them six really good chances today.

Something in Kai clicked in that exact second. He also started to run. They wouldn't turn the game around in 5 minutes, but they could at least try to score a goal. This was maybe their last chance, so they tried one more time.

3 defenders. Julian at his right side with one and the other two were keeping him company.

Julian passed him the ball, but before he could lock it into the goal, he was falling.

After a few seconds he heard voices around him and the referee blowing his whistle. As he opened his eyes again, he saw it. He understood the voices and the situation.

This was a penalty.

A few moments later, Kai found himself standing 11 metres away from the goal. Facing the Goalkeeper. His teammates and rivals behind him. Only him, the goal and the ball.

Kai has shot penalties before. It's not hard. It's eleven metres. But what does it make so big are emotions and the enormous pressure.

Yes, the game was maybe lost, but he could score and bring back some emotions and maybe hope.

So he thought. He took the steps, he shot and he missed.

The frustrated scream he let out was loud. This was a nightmare. Not only where they loosing, he was the one giving away a goal that had to be scored.

The game was still on but Kai was not on the pitch. His thoughts miles away from his body.

After, what seemed like an eternity later, he finally heard the whistle. The game was done and he did not care. Didn't care about saying goodbye to anyone. Didn't care about thanking the fans which were only booing and screaming slurs at the team and explicitly him.

He marched into und tunnel, ignoring anyone. When he finally arrived in their locker room he was throwing his shin guards at the wall. Sitting down and letting his face sink into his hands.

Kai hated it. He hated loosing. He hated being responsible. He hated reading the comments and media about him and how he failed. He hated that Julian and him were the poster boys that they all put their hope in. All the pressure on them because if Leverkusen could get into the Championsleague this season, then because of them.

But being praised this much also meant getting drowned by hate if they don't perform.

On these days Kai liked to hide himself from anyone. The person helping him hide, was always Julian.