lawl

Howdy there.

I tapped on the notification on my screen, it was a new update from Kians YouTube. He must have uploaded a new video.

An ad about the movie 'Tomorrowland' played, and then I heard his lovely voice.

"Well Howdy guys, its Kian!" He said, with a weird 'country accent', and a bear head on. He does the weirdest stuff sometimes. He waved, and a second later he took off the bear head, and tossed it away from him.

"Okay, hey guys! Whats up, Its Kian, and you are Watching this.." He paused. "You are watching me." He finished, with a thumbs up.

He started talking about Jc, and his "Imagine Jc.." video, I was watching the video, but only taking in Kians significant features. He had the darkest brown eyes from afar, but I bet up close they were a more 'explosive' color. He had a freckle above his right eyebrow, his eyebrows the same color of his har, a dark brown.

Kian went on, and acted out the imagines while I then became focused in the video again. He was acting out, 'proposing' to the camera, and then making his 'crab face'. I laughed so hard, it was UN-believable.

Many of the imagines had consisted of the crabface, or at least something to do with it. I finished the video, and shut my laptop. I always thought about Kian after the videos I watched.

I grabbed the Nutella from my drawer in my room, a nice place to hide it right? I didnt have a spoon, or a knife, nor anything like that, and I was not going down stairs to get one.. So I grabbed a pen, and ate it with that.

I had discovered Kian and Jc when I was watching Jack and jack videos. The first video I watched was the shock collar challenge. I closed the container, and licked the rest of chocolate off of the pen. After, I stood in the middle of my room, waiting for a new idea to pop through.

I could go watch more videos? No.. Welll, yes. No.

I went to my desk yet again, and pulled out my purple notebook, filled with quotes. I grabbed my special pen and flipped open a new page. Pulling out my iPad, I thought of things that have happened recently.

The day I had started the book, was the day that my 'clean streak' had been lost. The day I found the blade. I started it, because I thought that if I put my words into quotes, then maybe I can stop, and my clean streak will last longer, and longer.

I started to read some quotes, reading some first always get me inspired, and help me write my own. Then I started to write.

"Her eyes ran out of tears to cry. So she made her wrists cry instead."

"I dont get why everyone hates me so much, but then I do. Because now I hate me too."

I was about to write another quote when I got a magnificent idea. I could write these, and put them onto a iMovie, while I narrate them. Maybe I could do that as well? I walked outside, and looked up at the sky.

"Yes or no?" I asked the sky. It always helped make my decision. I saw a big cloud slowly stop moving, and landing right above me.

"I'll take it as a yes," I yelled before running inside again.

I walked through the door, and suddenly felt heavy, like my body was weighing me down. I slowed my walking, and headed to the stairs, even though I felt like falling over. I managed to get upstairs before almost passing out. I layed down, hoping the feeling would go away soon, like the need to cut.

Because I have this craving fairly often, I try to keep moving, and to distract me from things. I grabbed the Nutella, and ate some, with the same pen. Not even that had helped. I had one thing to do, my last idea.

To watch Kian.

I slowly got downstairs, and onto my laptop, signing in. Which took awhile because of my slowness, I clicked on the first one I saw, 10 THINGS NOT TO DO ON A DATE, and starting watching it.

I laughed instantly, seeing the things he had acted out. Kian always saves me, I hope I can pay him back one day.