FART BOX (SHORT SCREENPLAY)

FICTIONAL COMEDY "THE FART BOX"

PLOT: DOLAN; a man who is intrigued by farting as a comedy skit; attempts to win the national comedy competition held each year. But will the audience take farting as comedy skit or no?

LOCATIONS:
- DUBVILLE: city-like, vibrant city, home of comedy, busy streets, cars, trams everywhere...

CHARACTERS:
- DOLAN: confident, extrovert, comedian, flatulent lover; black hair, blue eyes, funny, comedic; immature; childish
- MEREDITH: Dolan's mother; grey hair, blue eyes, loving, caring
- JUDGE 1: comedic judge; bald hair, brown eyes, focused, confident

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INT. SHORT STREET DUBVILLE - WALKING

(FADE IN: DOLAN walks along the streets of SHORT STREET in the city DUBVILLE. They notice the antique building of the DUBVILLE COMEDY CENTRE; and notice a sign at the door stating details of the upcoming DUBVILLE COMEDY COMPETITION. DOLAN is accompanied with his mother MEREDITH)

DOLAN
(Smiles to MEREDITH) Mother... this is the place... The DUBVILLE COMEDY COMPETITION... I'm gonna enter this competition Mother...

MEREDITH
(annoyed to DOLAN) And fart... (shakes head) I don't think too many people are going to want to pay $20.00 for a night to see some young man fart... People would be most disgusted and annoyed that they had wasted money on something so childish...

DOLAN
(chuckles to MEREDITH) Okay Mother... okay... I may make it one day and become the richest comedian around...

(MEREDITH chuckles)

MEREDITH
(laughs; to DOLAN) In your dreams son... In your dreams...

DOLAN
(smiles to MEREDITH) Mother... I'm going to join the competition... I'm gonna join...

MEREDITH
(embarrassed; to DOLAN) Oh no please son... are you serious?

DOLAN
(serious to MEREDITH) Yes I'm serious Mother... I want my big mansion... if I can make it into comedy... then..

(DOLAN lets it rip; people walk past in disgust. MEREDITH looks annoyed at DOLAN)

MEREDITH
(shouts at DOLAN) DOLAN... STOP...

(DOLAN chuckles. A civilian walks past after hearing the fart; and is not impressed)

CIVILAN
(annoyed to DOLAN0 Disgusting pig... grow up... you're a grown ass man...

(DOLAN stops chuckling and apologises to the CIVILIAN)

DOLAN
(apologises to CIVILIAN) Sorry... sorry....

(THE CIVILIAN walks away in disgust. MEREDITH looks at her son with a disgusted look on her faces)

MEREDITH
(annoyed to DOLAN) I am disappointed in you DOLAN... I don't care where you fart... but doing it next to me... your own mother is bloody disgusting... I'm not amused...

DOLAN
(apologises to MEREDITH) Sorry mother...

(A pause)

MEREDITH
(annoyed to DOLAN) Look... if you're gonna join this competition... do it now... I'm waiting outside...

(DOLAN regrets farting next to his mother)

DOLAN
(saddened; to MEREDITH) Okay Mother... I'll be quick...

(MEREDITH is ashamed and disgusted; and waits by outside for her son. DOLAN walks inside the DUBVILLE COMEDY CENTRE... the scene continues...)

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INT. RECEPTION - DUBVILLE COMEDY CENTRE

(DUBVILLE COMEDY CENTRE - the interior fills red wallpapers, with comedy wall-stickers on the wall; with antique flooring. DOLAN approaches the reception desk; the receptionist notices DOLAN)

RECEPTIONIST
(to DOLAN) Yes hello there... How may I help you?

DOLAN
(to RECEPTIONIST) Yes hello there... I wanna... I want to enter the DUBVILLE COMEDY COMPETITION. I saw the sign outside on JULY 11 the day is...

RECEPTIONIST
(to DOLAN) Yes that's right... What's your act?

DOLAN
(to RECEPTIONIST) Ah a farting act...

(THE RECEPTIONIST is not impressed)

RECEPTIONIST
(annoyed to DOLAN) Um... okay...

(DOLAN notices the RECEPTIONIST's annoyance at him)

DOLAN
(annoyed; to RECEPTIONIST) What... It's an act... there's so much seriousness these days... the public has to have a joke... come on..

RECEPTIONIST
(annoyed to DOLAN) Well it is a comedy skit... I doubt the crowd will like it... but whatever... up to you...

DOLAN
(smiles; to RECEPTIONIST) Yes... thank you...

(DOLAN smiles and leaves; as he prepares to prepare himself for the DUBVILLE COMEDY COMPETITION. The receptionist looks at DOLAN in disgust as he leaves... END OF SCENE...)

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INT. DUBVILLE COMEDY CENTRE - 7PM

(DUBVILLE COMEDY COMPETITION begins at 7PM at night. The audience is flooded with crowd; the panel of two judges is situated between the audience and the stage. Many performers perform their comedic art - from speaking comedic acts, drag queen acts, and comedic magic tricks. DOLAN is backstage and prepares to be called out for his act. MINUTES pass...)

JUDGE 1
(announces to crowd) Ladies and gentlemen. I announce you the (chuckles) FARTING ACT by someone by the name of DOLAN...

(THE audience are intrigued yet weirded out of the incoming act performed by DOLAN. DOLAN walks out onto the stage; and begins performing his act)

DOLAN
(speaks to crowd) Well who likes farting... ha...

(THE CROWD automatically don't find DOLAN amusing or comedic. They remain silent; DOLAN becomes embarrassed)

DOLAN
(embarrassed; to crowd) Oh well... it's pretty funny to um...

(DOLAN farts by command. The audience starts to BOO; Dolan starts to giggle)

DOLAN
(laughs to crowd) I uh... I just love to FART...

(DOLAN farts again. One of the two judges becomes annoyed with DOLAN's act)

JUDGE 1
(annoyed; to DOLAN) Um excuse me... this is not an amusing act... you're eliminated... you're out..

DOLAN
(annoyed to JUDGE 1) Oh come on... you haven't even given me much of a chance...

JUDGE 1
(shouts to DOLAN) You just came on this stage to get attention for crap... Not interested... LEAVE...

DOLAN
(annoyed to JUDGE 1) No please... give me another chance... Come on...

JUDGE 1
(shouts to SECURITY) SECURITY...

(A second later - the security officer makes his way to the stage to escort DOLAN out of DUBVILLE COMEDY CENTRE. Dolan tries to break free but struggles)

DOLAN
(shouts to SECURITY OFFICER) No... no... let me go...

SECURITY OFFICER
(shouts to DOLAN) STOP RESISTING...

(THE SECURITY OFFICER manages to escort DOLAN off the stage. DOLAN continues to break free but struggles off backstage...)

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INT. BACKSTAGE - DUBVILLE COMEDY CENTRE

DOLAN
(shouts at SECURITY OFFICER) No... no... LET ME GO...

(DOLAN kicks the SECURITY OFFICER in the stomach. THE SECURITY OFFICER groans in pain; DOLAN kicks the SECURITY OFFICER once again in the stomach; then steals cash from the shirt pockets of the SECURITY OFFICER. The SECURITY OFFICER shouts in frustration for DOLAN to surrender; and give up the stolen cash)

SECURITY OFFICER
(shouts to DOLAN) HEY... HEY.... STOP... STOP...

(THE SCENE ENDS with DOLAN running away with the stolen cash from the SECURITY OFFICER; with the SECURITY OFFICER running after the thief DOLAN. END OF STORY...)