I'll Wait For Love (Steroline Fanfic Season 7)

Chapter 5: Love is Torture....

Dear Diary,

So much has changed in the past few days. My life has become full of danger and threat once again. I don't feel alone or insecure any more. I feel alive when I'm with him. These four days we had, just the three of us locked in this house, were epic. Today is the day of our freedom. He'll leave me and Angel again, I miss him and I will continue to. I love him. I love Stefan. I don't know what will happen in the future or when you wake up, Elena, but I sure as hell miss you like crazy. I've learnt to embrace the moment. Just like I did yesterday. It was our first and probably last date but I loved every moment of it. The dinner that Stefan cooked, the dance, the decorations, the talking and the...the kiss. Yup. Stefan kissed me and I couldn't help but kiss him back. I don't know how to describe it. It was so...amazing. But we haven't talked about it. Especially not if his emotionless, psycho mother, turns up at your doorstep, again. And not if he's mad at you about how I gave our blood to Lily without knowing a proper reason. Or maybe just because he doesn't want to lose me again. And I don't want to either. A part of me really wishes that he could stay but even if he does, it won't be the same. I'll still be second choice but I'm dealing with it. I just need to enjoy today with him, before he lets me go...again. Just wake quickly, Elena. I miss you....

Caroline had tears rolling down her cheeks. She was only writing in that diary so that Elena could read it, like she said she would. She knew that if Elena was here right now, everything would be so different and cheerful but here Caroline sat, sobbing. She decided to distract herself. She could smell something cooking downstairs. Pancakes and bacon. She went downstairs and Stefan was there cooking breakfast.

"Heya." She went to lean on the worktop, hoping that he would talk. "Watcha cooking there?" he didn't reply. "Stef..." She raised her voice sounding angry.

"What do you want Caroline?" he finally replied.

"I want to talk to you! WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS!"

"Maybe because you never listen to me and make stupid decisions that ruin your life and I feel the guilt!" Stefan was shouting. "And you've also forgotten that you have a daughter to look after. If Lily hurts any of you, then it will hurt me the most."

"I know that. But can't you see that what I did was to protect my daughter! I wasn't about to let my daughter be locked in a house. And what about Bonnie and Elena, huh? We can't save them if we're dumped in a rented house." She yelled. "The people I love are not second choice to me. I choose them over anything else or at least try to."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that a certain Salvatore brother let me walk out of his room so easily, 7 years ago, making his stupid decision." She had started crying by now. She had kept these feelings to herself for 5 days, but not anymore. "I was so hopeful that you would stop me and tell me that we could work this out. If you had come with me, then I would have my best friend by my side. You know whenever I would go into my dorm at Whitmore, it was almost like I didn't belong there anymore, not without Elena. She was the only person who was always there, not even Bonnie could take away her absence. The only other person was you, Stefan. I knew that once I figured out whether we could actually do this, you would make me feel alive again. And when I did, you didn't choose me. I know that you didn't want to leave everyone in a situation like it was. "She paused for a second. "But you could have come with me, so that every now and then, you could go back to Mystic Falls to sort it out or at least have kept in contact with me or something. You staying in Mystic Falls, didn't help. The heretics and your psycho mother are still harming people. Mystic Falls is still desolated. So as far as I see it, Stefan, you have no right to be mad at me because you've made more stupid decisions. And I know very well that I'm never the one. I'm always second choice. Damon used me repeatedly. Matt dated me when he was still in love with Elena. Tyler chose his crazy revenge plan over me. Even Klaus left to be king. And when I thought that I had found someone who actually wanted me, you chose helping your mother that hated you and hadn't met you in over 150 years, over me. Not to forget that you let go of our friendship once, just so that you could start over. And when I first met you told me that we would never happen and you chose Elena. So see, my love life is terrible. I'm never ever, going to be the one, for anyone."