Memoirs of Retribution

Chapter 30 - Watching

I avoided Lucas so much so that I were even doing my own dressings. Id watched him do it enough times that I knew what to do but it was hard work with only one hand.

Standing in my bathroom cursing the bandage that just wouldn't do as it was told I didn't realise; I had an audience.

"Need some help?" Lucas' kind voice called to me from the bathroom doorway.

Too embarrassed to look up at him, I just extended my arm out to him to wrangle to stupid bandage to protect the wounds on my arm. With a small chuckle his quick fingers wrapped my finger properly and then my arm. Doing a far better job that I ever could. The air was thick with an awkward tension that only got worse as the silence stretched on.

"You could have just said no. I wouldn't have minded... much." He broke the silence softly. Said no? to what?

Noticing my confused face, he went on. "On the cliff. I asked if I could kiss you and you said yes."

"What? When?" My confusion deepened. Then realisation hit me in the face like a brick. Ooohh, I get it now. I was too distracted thinking about Dominic - as always - that I wasn't even listening to Lucas speak to me. Only hearing my name.

"I erm... wasn't listening. I only registered my name being said and then you kissed me." I cleared my throat, my cheeks flaming bright red at this point I could be seen from miles around.

"Oh." Lucas sounded so utterly dejected by my admission that he wouldn't even look at me. "I guess that explains your reaction."

"I'm sorry." I rushed to comfort him, feeling like an idiot for not seeing the whole situation for what it was.

Lucas had taken me to the most beautiful spot, cooked for us both and then kissed me. From his point of view was it a kind of date?

"I'm so sorry Lucas." I apologised again with sincerity this time. "I didn't realise but I erm... just don't feel that way about you." I admitted. Enough was enough I had to face up to what was really going on here. No more running.

"I figured as much. What, with all the running away and avoiding me and all." His soft smile didn't reach his eyes, showing me that my honesty hurt his feelings, but respected me enough to not push.

Inhaling though him nose Lucas straightened his crestfallen stance and stood tall in acceptance.

"No harm done right? Forgive me?" He smiled while extending his hand out towards me. Smiling back at him I met his hand and shook it while agreeing. "You didn't do anything where forgiveness is needed, we are friends Lucas and I'm lucky to even have that in my life."

The rest of the day I spent in the main gym trying to distract myself, and opting to use this one rather than accidently bump into the one person I couldn't get out of my head. But as always, luck wasn't on my side and running wasn't in the cards for me today, just being surrounded by the equipment was enough to be a physical reminder of him as well as my thought going haywire.

I found myself at the punching bag, punching, kicking and cursing it out, but not a word leaving my lips. No one here knew what had happened and I assumed that was by design.

Dominic wouldn't want just anyone knowing what happened, let alone that I was still alive. Lucas made a good point the other night. Dominic wasn't a man that you could take liberties with. He was harsh, cruel and unforgiving. Yet, I'm living proof that he can show these traits if he was so inclined.

Every time I thought I figured him out he turned around and did something to make me second guess everything. He was a complex man at the best of times, but to be one way with everyone else and entirely different with me, throw me for a loop.