𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐘 → original

twelve

After dinner, the group reconvened in the living room. No one sat close enough to be touching. They were all leaning forward, anxiety coursing through their veins. No one spoke, either. It was around 10 pm, and Tyler still was yet to return.

"Should we watch something?" Nadia suggested lightly, knowing that no one would want to. It was more of a suggestion to fill the quiet air. No one would sleep, and no one would talk, so she needed something to fill the void. Otherwise, she might go crazy.

The others made sounds of content or disapproval, no one gave her a straight answer. She huffed and leaned back on the couch, brushing arms with Ophelia beside her. Ophelia's eyes raised to her, and they shared a long gaze. Nadia was the one to break it, facing her eyes forward at nothing in particular.

Nadia wanted to go on pretending everything was okay. For her, everything had to be okay. She had never experienced such intense foreboding, and she didn't know what to do with it. Nadia was purposeful and calculating, she always was one step ahead, but at that moment, she couldn't help but feel 3 steps behind. Nothing made sense.

Amory was sitting on the loveseat with Marc, his arms crossed over his chest. He didn't raise his eyes to face the others. If he looked at Marc or Lou, he knew he would lose his fire and crumble. If he looked at Ophelia, he would think of nothing more than protecting her sunshine. If he looked at Caspar, he would think of Lou once more and end up in a cycle. Finally, if he looked at Nadia, he'd think of nothing but the afternoon, and her lips on his lips.

Lou was anxious, for more reason than one. There was too much happening, and it all felt too out of her reach. She did not like appearing out of control or unkempt. She always wanted to seem as if she were on top of things. For that reason, Vallie's disappearance and Caspar's proximity were making her sick to her stomach. Everything felt like an airplane ready to crash, and she was fighting desperately to turn things back around.

Caspar was quiet. He thought of Lou, and of Vallie. He didn't get Lou, and that struck him as odd. Lou seemed like the most familiar person in the world to him, as if he had lived a hundred lives before and she had always played a role. Still, in this life time, it seemed he had been given the wrong script. He was fumbling his way through his part, but the look on everyone's face told him he was fucking it up.

Marc thought of his family, though he didn't want to. He imagined his grandfather, sleeping, preparing for another day at the office tomorrow. He wondered if the man was happy, or if he had once had dreams outside of law as well. The thought that anyone in his family had ever been more than a money hungry robot alarmed him. It made him wonder, would he become that cold one day, too? Would he have a child who he would place the responsibilities of the world upon?

Ophelia bounced her knee, because she was never one for sitting still. She imagined Vallie in her head, all long brown hair and big brown eyes. Ophelia had a tendency to want to save everyone around her, to instill good into the people she loved. She feared that she was constantly failing, perhaps because she was not as good as she ought to be. Ophelia could not quench the demon inside her, the angry beast who wanted to tear through her sunshine walls and scream. If that very monster lived within her, then how could she ever save anyone else?

Nadia finally pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin between them. The silence was going to drive her mad, but she knew she couldn't speak that thought aloud. There were much bigger things to worry about, Vallie being one of them. She wondered if something truly nefarious had happened to the girl. It didn't seem possible. She felt that if something were truly wrong, she would feel it in her gut. Like a siren call. If Vallie were in danger, one of them would know. She must be fine, because Nadia must know if she weren't.