The Invite

Chapter 5

As time passes by, Up is struck by the thought that although what he and Kao have isn't going to last forever, he loves how things are right now. He and Kao are closer than ever; even though their arrangement is quite unconventional, it brought a friend into Up's life—a friend he can't imagine doing without now.

It's not going to last forever, because nothing does, and no one knows it better than Up—so he spends many days and nights carving his name into Kao's mattress; to leave the trace of himself behind, for Kao to remember him when he's gone.

One of those evenings, with the sun taking its sweet time disappearing below the horizon and painting the sky with all variants of pinks and purples and yellows, is particularly warm. Up, lips red from kissing and cheeks rosy, dressed in nothing more than a pair of boxers and one of Kao's giant t-shirts, steps onto the balcony to feel the touch of the sun on his skin.

Plants are scattered over the balcony now, but even though Up had been there when Kao was buying them, he can't name any of them. There's not much, since Kao wanted to start and take small steps instead of jumping head-first into caring for too many plants than he could handle, but they set the atmosphere, making both here and the inside of the apartment more lively.

Up leans against the railing and tips his head back to face the sky. He has to tune out the traffic of the city to properly enjoy himself, but the whole day has been good; he wrote a majority of a new song today, went out for lunch with Karn, hung out with Mann and Ben to brainstorm ideas, and now he's here.

With a mess of thoughts in his head and feelings pressing against his ribcage, Up finds the skyline of Bangkok almost calming. The harsh scent of air pollution provides a weird, but grounding sense of peace, diverting Up's attention from the hollow feeling in his gut.

He isn't alone for too long.

The sound of quiet, but familiar footsteps reaches his ears. Up turns around to find Kao leaning with his shoulder against the glass doors. His hair is still messed-up and there are hickeys on his collarbones where the shirt he's wearing rides down, but he looks hot af—he always does, but there's something about him, about the sunlight reflected in his eyes and the small smile on his lips that pulls Up into all his traps.

"Come back to bed," Kao says, voice still rough. "I want to nap."

Up wants to be a little annoying, so he tells him, "You can nap without me."

"I sleep better when we're in the same bed."

He wishes he could say that it takes him off-guard, but it doesn't, really. Kao says those things sometimes like he doesn't even realize how they sound; like they mean nothing to him, just silly little words left for the wind to carry to Up, light and empty.

Say you'll remember me, Up wants to say. I want memories of us to follow you around.

"You're adorable," is what he says instead. Running a hand through his hair, he walks to the balcony door and lets his hand settle on Kao's hip as he walks past him back into the bedroom.

It's too warm for them to slip under the covers, but Up allows them to pool around his calves as he folds his arms on the pillow and rests his cheek on them, turning his head to look at Kao.

"I'm going to Los Angeles this Friday to meet with some producers in person," Up says quietly. He and the rest of the Justup team, works with those guys frequently, and he's known he'd be flying out to meet them for a while now; it's only today that the flight was finalized.

Kao rolls onto his side, palm sandwiched between his cheek and the pillow.  "How long will you be gone?"

"A week," Up tells him. That's the longest they haven't seen each other since their arrangement, he thinks. They've gone days without a meeting, but not that long—they've also always exchanged texts or calls, talking about everything and nothing.