Thrown into the Unexpected (Sons of Anarchy)

Words that Hurt

Chapter Ten: Words that Hurt

“Jax you need to calm down before you say something you’re going to regret.” Gemma said to Jax as they got closer to us.

“Stay the hell out of it.” he snapped at her.

“How is Tara doing brotha?” Chibs asked when Jax came in the waiting room.

Jax just looked at Chibs and stormed right past him and made his way over to where Happy, Opie and I were sitting. “This is all your fucking fault!” Jax yelled at me when he stopped directly in front of me. “My old lady is fucking laying up in that hospital bed because you don’t know how to fucking listen to what you’re told. We should have never fucking left Charming.”

“Jax I’m sorry.” I said in a soft voice looking up at him.

“What the fuck Jax, don’t talk to her like that.” Happy snapped as he stood up.

“Hap, Tara could have been killed.” Jax said to Happy and I could see that Happy was pissed but was holding back because it was Jax. “You want to know what Clay told Tara before he shot her.” Happy give Jax one stiff nod but didn’t say anything. “This bullet was meant for Alanna and because I chose to protect Alanna instead of Tara it now had her name on it.” Jax growled while looking over at me. “It shouldn’t be Tara laying in that bed right now.”

“Jax, Clay will not get away with this but ya gotta calm down.” Opie said as Happy took a small step backwards and I looked over at him a little stunned by his movement.

“Clay will pay for this but that doesn’t change the fact that Tara took a bullet that wasn’t meant for her.” Jax snapped at Opie.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, it sounded like he was wishing it was me that got shot and not Tara. I understood he was upset but that was wrong on so many levels. I quickly stood up in the little space I had between the chair and Jax. “I told you that you didn’t have to come with me I was perfectly fine going on my own so don’t fucking blame me for this.” I snapped at him. “I didn’t ask you to protect me; I was doing fine protecting myself before you came along.”

“You would be dead if I had never gone to that fucking club to get you.” He snapped at me. “You would have died in that cabin if I had not gone there to get you either and let’s not forget the fucking house fire I just helped you get out of so don’t fucking tell me you know how to protect yourself because you fucking don’t.”

“You have no idea what my life was like or what I have been through before you decided to play big brother. My life was not peaches and crème but I managed to keep myself going without your help then and I could do it now. My life turned to hell when you walked in it.” Jax took a step forward causing me to have to lean back over the chair a little. Happy and Opie moved closer to us but made no attempt to stop either of us from saying the things we were saying. “I would bet my last dollar that right now you are probably wishing that was me in there and not her.” I snapped at him and he took a step back.

Opie was trying to say something but neither of us was listening to him. “Jax don’t fucking answer that, just back off bro.” Opie said this time loud enough for us to hear him and Jax just spoke louder to drown out Opie’s voice.

“And you would probably win that bet right now.” There it was the words that felt like a knife in my heart and the pain continued the more he spoke. “I don’t know why I bother; I should have just walked away when I had my chance.”

The entire room went silent when those words left his mouth. I knew Happy was stuck in a bad place and I could see it on his face, he wanted to defend me but this was his president and my brother. The last thing I ever wanted was for him to feel like he had to choose between the club he loves and me, I could never ask him to do that or want him to so I didn’t give Jax a response to his comment I just looked around the room and could see that I wasn’t the only one that was shocked by what he had just said to me. I slowly looked back at him and just shook my head as I walked around him. I didn’t go on the side Happy was because I didn’t want him to stop me from leaving. Gemma was the first one to find her voice and ended the awkward silence in the room.