When Can I See You Again?

Chapter 9 (Haewon's POV)

It's almost poetic to leave your one true love. The person you wanted to be with for the rest of your life. That one person who you wanted to be the first thing you see when you wake up in the morning and the last one you see at night. But every good story needs tragedy, and mine is letting him go.

When Sunwoo and the others had told me, I hadn't believed him. But I saw the tears streaming down their faces and so I had to believe them. I collapsed to my knees, head spinning in agony and disbelief. I choked out, "C-call Jinheung. P-Please." They ran to get Jinheung.

When he entered and kneeled next to me, I said, tears streaming freely, "Why? Why me? Why don't I get a happy ending like everyone else? The hero wins no matter what, right? Then maybe I'm not the hero." Jinheung hugged me tightly and cried out, "I'm sorry, my love. There are no happy endings, not for heroes. Maybe we will meet again, and the world will no longer rest on our shoulders." 

I choked back my tears and said, "I know it's impossible. It will be for both of us. But I need you to promise me that you'll move on, my love. If not for me, do it for Silla. The kingdom will need heirs. J-just p-please don't forget me." Jinheung shook his head fiercely as he sputtered out, "No, no, no. I will not love again. No matter if the royal bloodline ends with me." I grasped his hands and pleaded, "Don't do this, my love. I will not be happy if you aren't." Jinheung nodded very slowly.

He said, in between sobs, "Life is not always fair, and happy endings are not meant for all love stories, but I promise, my love, that the story we had was worth it, and the fact that I'm saying goodbye doesn't mean I'm going to forget us." I nodded and said, "Let's meet again in our next lives, no matter what."

Just then, Xufeng came in and said, "I'm really sorry to interrupt, but we must pack." We nodded and slowly got up, wiping our tears. Jinheung said, averting his still teary gaze, "Okay. Go pack, my love. I'll get everyone ready." He hurriedly left. Xufeng wrapped his arm around my shoulder and helped me to my chambers.

While I packed, a few stray tears kept falling. Xufeng kept apologizing. I said, in pain, "It's not your fault. If leaving him is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting him, to keep him safe." Xufeng said quietly, "You made him promise that he'd move one, didn't you? Well, he made me promise as well. He ordered that when you moved on, that I should marry you and keep you happy. I'm sorry, Langlang. It never should've come to this." 

I nodded swiftly, trying to hide the agony from the thought of even thinking of marrying someone else. After packing, we went to the courtyard to say our final goodbyes. 

Ahro and Soyeon couldn't stop crying, so all I could do was hug them and wish them well. I knew I'd never see them again. Next, I made sure to hug Banryu, Suho, and Hansung. They were teary-eyed as well, but more composed than the girls. 

When it was Sunwoo's turn, I hugged him and said, "Thank you. Thank you for raising me and being my family when I didn't have one. I'll always owe that to you. Goodbye, my brother." Sunwoo said, crying, "You don't need to say thank you. You'll always be my sister. I want to know. Why did you do it? This job?". I smiled faintly and said, "Some days in life are so dark you just want to turn your back on everything. But I was always saved whenever I looked into your eyes. And they made me determined to protect those eyes at whatever cost."

Then, I moved onto the one goodbye I didn't think I would ever make, the one I hated the most. Jinheung. He was sobbing again, and now so was I. He pulled me into a kiss, and we parted after what seemed like forever. 

He said, chuckling sadly, "I guess I was always in love with the impossibility of us. Can't we see each other again? I will never get to see you again? Forever? What do I do? What should I do when I miss you so much?". I replied, "Nothing. There is nothing we can do to avoid that pain."

He said, almost to himself, "Will we forget each other? Or will we live unable to forget, forever tormented?". I pleaded, "Tell me to go. Tell me to leave. Please. I'm asking someone's permission for the first time in my life. If you stop me, I can't leave." Jinheung said, "Maybe we were meant to be but just not this time. I pray that in our next life, the wait will be short and the meeting will be long. Go."

And just like that, I walked away forever from the one I loved.