Il dono della vita | Måneskin

Chapter 5: First Dance

Victoria's POV

Today didn't have any purpose but to constantly remind me what I could've had in another life, if only my choices were different. If only life would've given me another chance to make everything right.

I look at my old friend and his new wife holding each other as they're swaying around in their first dance as newlyweds. My heart feels warm knowing that Leo gets to feel the love he deserves. Everyone is seated at the tables positioned around the dance floor and I catch a glimpse of Damiano's gaze piercing right through me from his place.

I look at him. His eyes leave mine, fixating on the empty glass that he's got in front of him.

I choose not to pay attention to the way he's staring at that glass, almost as if he could fill it up in his mind — a weirdly familiar look.

The music ends and everyone applauds and cheers. And, as I get the chance before dinner is served, I escape to the restroom so I can have my long sought alone moment.

I'm thankful that it's empty. I approach the mirror and I take look at myself – makeup covers the dark circles under my eyes who are shining filled with unspilled tears. I place my hand under the running tap water and put it on the back of my neck, the cool feeling giving me a brief relief sensation. After taking some deep breaths, I decide to go back to the party. My tough façade unbroken in an almost successful attempt to play my pretender card.

I go back to the ballroom, just like the Vic that used to go on stage at night, after a rough day — apparently confident and cool. "Fake it 'till you make it" that's my everyday motto.

I find myself involved in a trivial conversation with people I used to have in my life years ago, before everything went down, and my departure. All these remind me of a time when everything was normal, unchanged.

My eyes search for Thomas through the crowd — the only one whose presence I haven't fully acknowledged yet, the only person I wish to see tonight that I know will not sadden me. The need to talk to him takes over my mind and even my body starts acting agitated. I excuse myself from the conversation so I can turn back to my table and message him.

A clicheic, romantic, slow song starts playing and my heart drops to my stomach when I see Damiano approaching me. He gets close to my ear and whispers in such a shy way "would you dance with me?"

I get lost and forget about everything in the surprising bliss only we share as our eye contact awakens a fuzzy feeling inside me, making my chest burn with the love I still have for him.

"Sure," I smile, choosing to overcome my awkwardness and give in to his petition, desperate even for a lonely touch.

We head towards the dance floor and he wraps his arm around my waist. I clutch his back and we hold hands. Then I rest my head on his shoulder as we're swinging back and forth to the sound of the romantic melody that's filling the atmosphere.

"I missed you," he mumbles into my hair, making my heart skip a beat and, at the same time, crack when I realize the power he still holds over me.

I choose to remain silent, not wanting to ruin this perfect moment. This is our first moment after we spent so much time apart from each other, wedded to our own broken hearts.

His arm shifts so he can tighten his grip around my waist, hugging me properly as I close my eyes, trying to encapsulate in my memory as much as I can from this moment. I hear his heart beating to the sound of his own pain and lost love, and, for a moment, I feel how mine starts imitating his.

The song ends. We fall apart. Even if it was short, this moment will be impregnated in my brain forever. Our gazes meet again and I find an empty Damiano, filled only with regrets and guilt. He can't put up a good façade as I am. He never could.