Silver & Silent (Phan)

7: For You

Ok, so here is what I have been working on, I promise that I have been working on it and still am. Best wishes to you all!

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I slowly wake up to the sound of distant yelling, to be more accurate, the sound of Phil's distant yelling. This confuses me for a moment, why would he be yelling? Then I hear him say, "after the things that you told Dan, I really don't believe that you should be able to continue your practice. Do you not understand just how freaking wrong you were?"

Then it all clicks into place, he is yelling at Dr. Turner. For me. He never yells, ever. That's one of his little things, he hates yelling, and right now he is yelling at somebody who wronged me. Because he cares. He actually cares about what other people have done to me. I mean, I knew this before, but it is an entirely other thing to see, or in this case hear, proof of it happening instead of someone just telling you that they care. Many people will say that they care, but when things are going wrong for you people usually tent to prove that they only cared about what you could do for them.

"No- it's not- Will you just shut the hell up for one bloody second!" Phil yells, "how can you even try to defend what you said to him. No, I wasn't asking for an answer. - Look, I don't care what you have to say at this point. I have already talked to Dan's doctor about switching therapist and he completely agrees with me, you shouldn't be aloud anywhere near Dan. I am also going to report you for insensitive behavior towards someone who had literally just gotten out of hospital for trying to kill himself. Do you see where you were wrong yet? Hopefully they fire you so nobody else will have the chance of going through what Dan just had to go through, but in the meantime we are going to get him a new therapist and he will never, I repeat, never have to hear a word from you again. Do you understand? And just to let you know again, what you did was wrong, so fuck you. Goodbye."

I hear him give a slightly exasperated sigh, toss his phone on something that sounded soft, probably the sofa, and begin to make his way towards the kitchen. I figure now is as good of time as any to let him know that I'm awake and heard his conversation, so I get up.

As I do I see a note on the bedside table. I love you. That's all it says, but it's enough to put a smile on my face.

I slowly and quietly make my way to where he's standing trying to figure out just what I'm going to say. He's still deep in though over something when I reach the kitchen and wrap my arms around his waist. At first he's slightly startled, but quickly realizes that it's just me and relaxes in my grasp, laying his arms above my own rested on his stomach.

"Thank you. For caring, I mean, I know that you do.. It's just.. nice to be reassured I guess. I really means a lot to me. I don't deserve someone as good as you," I say, slightly letting some of my inner, darker emotions seep out.

"I did it for you, you deserve somebody that will stick up for you. In fact you deserve so much more than you think you do, you're fantastic and I'm happy love you," he tells me as he leans back into my grasp.

"I love you too Phil," I say as I kiss the side of his head and rest my own against his, "I'm sorry I'm so fucked up. I wish I didn't have these scars, I wish I could just fix everything that was wrong with me, I wish that you didn't have to deal with it all. I'm sorry."