Silver & Silent (Phan)

3: Awakening

Where am I? What is this feeling? It's like I'm floating... What happened to me? I can't remember... Should I open my eyes? Can I open them? Do I even want to try? For some reason I don't think I do...

He was floating, in what he couldn't tell, he just knew he was weightlessly swimming though pure nothingness. Once he opened his eyes he attempted to look around. It was pitch black, encompassing every bit of his surroundings. There was absolutely nothing to see. This panicked him a bit, now he wanted to know what was going on.

It took him a few seconds to remember exactly what he had done, but there was no forgetting. And with that knowledge came every bit of pain he had ever felt. All of it, though he still couldn't remember what caused that pain, it was just there.

This is what I wanted, right? To stop feeling, to cease to exist, just end everything? If so then this isn't it. I wanted it all to end, this is not ending. I can still think, I'm still aware. What the hell was even the point? Why do I have to go through this?

He closes his eyes again in attempt to black out his thoughts just as his sight is, but, just like in life, his mind wouldn't leave him alone. Then, all of a sudden, there is a blinding flash and there they were, these eyes. Impossibly sad, blue eyes silently begging him to do something. What, he did not know.

I know these eyes, I know I know them.

Even though he knows nothing about who they belong to or their significance, he knows that for some reason they are important. No matter how hard he tries he can't seem to make the rest of the persons face come into focus. It was all just a big blur, besides those beautiful eyes.

But then, just as suddenly as those beautiful eyes had appeared, they begin to slip away form him. Panic overtakes him as he desperately attempt to not lose track of them.

Don't let them fade yet, please. I just want to see them for a little longer, please. I need this.

With his eyes still closed he reached his arms out to try catch up with those fading eyes, while in the back of his mind still trying to tag a name to them.

Maybe if I remember his name they'll no- wait, his name, he's a he...

Phil!

That's his name! Phil!

The face finally comes into focus and he is able to see all of the perfections and imperfections that come with it. The only problem was that with the face came the memories, all of them. A dull ache began to rise from his arm. Looking down he was able to see that it was covered in a deep scarlet-red that was then cascading off and into the surrounding black oblivion.

"Dan!"

He looks up, Phil is crying his name over and over in a hushed, broken voice.

"Dan, please come back, please. Please, for me, please don't leave me..." he repeats again and again.

He follows the voice, ignoring the pain that was now permeating his entire body. He has to reach him, to comfort him. No matter what, that is what matters.

Everything goes pitch black again for a second then a very annoying beeping began to snuff out the voice he as been holding onto so desperately.

He fights to open his eyes, it takes a few tries, but finally he succeeds and is welcomed by a blinding white light. There's something wrapped around his right hand, something warm and comforting. He desperately wants to see what is trying to make him feel wanted. He struggles a few times to blink the light away before it finally subsides. He looks down to see Phil on a chair next to his bed holding the hand attached to his heavenly bandaged forearm. Phil is resting his head on the bed next to their intertwined hands with his eyes slightly open as he starts into the distance. He's yet to notice the change in Dan's state of consciousness so Dan had a few moments to assess Phil's state. All around his eyes were puffy and red, still continuously leaking tears as he muttered under his breath.