Selescte Origins

It's Raining, Not Water.

Epinephrine.

Cortisol.

Monoamine oxidase.

This is new. What is happening? Memories are suddenly fading out, overpowered by all these chemicals flowing into my body.

I look around me.

A sea of blood-red flowers surrounds me.

What happened to my beautiful white flowers?

Why is there this sudden flush of color over my garden?

I never planted these flowers, these are not flowers.

These are weeds.

Gross, infestive weeds.

How have these snuck into my garden..?

|~| |~|

Left alone, in this endless sea of flowers. Blood red flowers..
Below me, the flowers I lay onto are rough, hot and brimming with Epinephrine.

My red flowers are home, and I have lived in this field for as long as I can remember.

I lack memory.

I lack self-esteem.

I lack Dopamine.

I lack Endorphins.

I lack Serotonin.

I never had Oxytocins.

Epinephrine. That's what my flowers bring. The ongoing rage clouding my mind, shattering the patience I never had. Destroying my efforts to forgive entirely, as if I never cared in the slightest.

Cortisol. That's what my flowers bring. I will never make an attachment again. I depend on myself and myself only. The moment I start to lean on another, or cower under them.. I will see to it that it ends immediately.

I never would have guessed that Oxytocins would come into play. This was the wrong time, not now. I shove it out of my mind. I can't fail my new people too. Especially not because of this stupid chemical that made me lose my last people.

Monoamine Oxidase. I brought this upon myself.

Bradykinin. No- no. Just pain. I'm in pain.

Everything hurts. I can't move, it's as if the roots of my garden grew overtop of me. The crushing feeling, I see my flowers growing bigger than ever before and smile.

I hope nobody stumbles upon this mess of a garden I have planted, I think as the rest of my blood seeps into the soil underneath me.