Grace for Today

four - couldn't care less

mild warning: church hurt

Explanations were something Claire valued. Leaving someone without an explanation was, in her opinion, the eighth deadly sin. "Why?" had been her first word, and it seemed fitting since she'd asked it almost every day since then. Every doctor's appointment, every stupid idea her friends mentioned, every less-than-perfect grade she received was always peppered with her asking "why?" an absurd amount of times.

She sank down in her seat, almost hoping her father wouldn't see her, and he'd leave, and then she could call it a day. She'd rather be at home, doing anything except this. "I could be on a coffee date," she mused to herself. Oliver would've been much better company.

"With who?" inquired a voice that made Claire's blood run cold.

"No one," she replied, her tone clipped.

"Oh. Okay." Claire's dad sat down in front of her, and she could feel every fiber of her being resisting the urge to run or throw a cup of coffee on his head. She decided that her latte, no matter how overpriced, didn't deserve that fate.

"What brings you here, Mister Reynolds?" She quipped, hatred dripping from every word. She ignored the slight pang of guilt as she watched his face fall.

"Claire-bear... I'm still your dad-"

"Nope! You are my father. You contributed half of my genotype, that is where the relationship ends. A dad wouldn't've cheated on mom, a dad wouldn't've left me, and a dad most certainly wouldn't've obsessively tried to contact me after I made it clear that I want nothing to do with you."

"Claire, I know I made mistakes. And I'm not asking you to forgive me, understand me, or even hear me out. I just want to make up for lost time."

"Make up for lost time!" She could feel hysteric responses swirling around, and she wasn't sure if she was about to cry or laugh. "You need to make up for a lot more than that. Do you know how hard it was on mom, trying to raise a daughter and keep a roof over our heads, all by herself? Do you know how embarrassing it was to show up to daddy-daughter dances with my mom, or sometimes a neighbor, but never my dad? Do you know how it feels to have someone completely abandon you, and then show up out of the blue acting like everything's fine when it clearly isn't?"

"Claire-bear, I-"

"Don't call me that!" she shouted, not caring that every eye in the cafe was on her and her father. "You have, somehow, single-handedly ruined mine and mom's lives. She works almost every night now, desperately trying to keep everything in order, trying to keep me from seeing how hard it is. I have so much respect for her- much more than I'll ever have for you. When things are hard for mom and me, she doesn't go and knock up some girl she knew from high school, abandon her family, and then have the audacity to think that she deserves a single ounce of anyone's time." She inhaled deeply, ignoring the tears running down her cheeks. "I hope I'm like mom when I grow up. I hope that you'll see me one day, with a family I actually know how to be there for. And I hope you remember that you've had absolutely no part in shaping me into the woman I am.

"And your new kid- Joanna? She seems cute. I hope that you're better to her than you ever were to me and Mom. Same for your new wife. I hope you're actually there for them. I hope you show up to their dance recitals and softball games. I hope that your daughter actually gets the chance to be daddy's little princess."

"Claire, you are my daughter."

"Nope. You lost that privilege when you cheated on mom. You and I are nothing alike. You will never be my dad. I don't care if I have to move countries, get plastic surgery, and apply for a name change for that to sink in. You created this dysfunction. You tore our family apart."