Lost Stars - A Post No Way Home Story

Ditto

Michelle didn't hate Midtown High. In fact, she loved the people in it. She loved her breaks when she could observe the cliques that had formed and the smallest interactions her fellow students had around her. She wasn't someone who was popular per say – she kept to herself, mostly. It didn't have anything to do with anyone. It was her, really. She kept her cards close to herself and thrived on academic achievement because it was the only distraction she had for the longest time. It was mostly her mom and her at home. Her dad was in-and-out of her life, so she was fine with being left alone so that no one would worry much about her. She had friends when she was in Kindergarden and in elementary school. But somehow, her presence was not unnerving enough to other people because at some point, she became Decathlon captain. It still baffled her, but it was the obvious choice. The team were the people whom she considered her friends even if she didn't hangout with them outside of school grounds much. It was the closest she got. It was when Michelle became MJ.

At some point, she got a job. At some point, Ned kept coming by and they became good friends. Technically, they became friends on the Europe trip but she didn't know why. All she remembered was that he dated Betty Brant on the Europe trip and Betty kept on going on and on about Ned, which made her roll her eyes in affectionate annoyance. Ned hung around a bit, mostly during school or at Peter Pan's. He was a comforting figure, but she couldn't remember how they become friends. When asked, she chalked it off and said that was just what happened with school friends. You just start befriending them sometimes. You never know the switch from school colleagues to friends, especially when you end up experiencing the same things.

He was one of the few people who expressed his concern about her studying computer sciences.

"Are you sure?" He'd asked one day. "Like, nothing against you MJ but you seem more of uh... well, you are a STEM person for sure or else you wouldn't be here. But are you sure about computer sciences?"

MIT was everything but also nothing like she imagined. It felt more isolating than ever, which was fine with MJ. Many of her friends went to MIT with her, but they were so far away even when they were here. There was always something missing.

MJ tried to do the parties. She tried the socialising thing, but it felt weird. So she slowly closed herself off again. She was Michelle Jones-Watson once more. She tried to go out with other people – platonically and romantically. Romantically didn't work, but her roommate was okay. Riri was an engineering genius from Chicago and, like MJ, had been blipped. That's how they became good friends. First they were roommates, a fleeting face in the morning and a slow breathe at night. Then one day, MJ came back from a date and annoying told Riri everything.

And it was the best thing she had ever done. Making friends was easier when you already knew you had something in common.

But there was still a big question mark in MJ's life. Did she really want to do this? She didn't mind computer sciences, she liked it but it didn't fit. Something was wrong. But she was at the university she always wanted to go to, right?

In times like that she thought of Peter.

***

She helped out still but MJ didn't stay for long. The pictures felt like they were burning on the inside of her coat when she ran. It felt like she had just robbed a grave. When she trudged up the stairs, she ignored her mom saying that she had a eureka moment and needed to write something down.

Mama Jones did not hover much. She gave MJ her space. She knew that if she didn't show up for dinner though, mom would bang down the door and ask her what is wrong.

She pulled the small board from the corner of her room. She didn't bring it with her to Boston – what need did she have of it?

MJ put down the photos and pulled up her computer. She had finally labelled her photos. Junior Year, Senior Year, the Europe Trip etc. While MJ had good eyesight, she took out her pair of glasses that she had gotten specifically for long hours at the laptop. Then, she did something she didn't want to do. She had been far to afraid to look it up.