Shut up, soulmate!

7

Written by LouisThiccSexyAss

He's woken up to Niall aggressively hitting him and Harry with a pillow. Harry whimpers, curling further into his chest from where he must have ended up last night.

Niall cackles, hitting them again.

"Niall! Stop! For fucks sake." Louis yells.

"I hate the Irish." Harry mutters, pulling the pillow from under Louis' head and putting it over his ears firmly.

"That's not very live laugh love of you." Niall pouts, setting the pillow down.

Louis focuses on Harry, barely paying attention to the insane leprechaun as he moves around the room, poking around in stuff.

"You alright, H?" He whispers, getting close to Harry under the covers. He doesn't actually remember falling asleep, is the thing, but waking up with Harry curled up in his arms certainly wasn't a negative experience.

"Your friend has no marbles." Harry mutters, one hand fisting at Louis' shirt.

"Don't you mean he's lost his marbles?" Louis questions, eyebrows furrowed.

"He lost them ages ago so now he has none." Harry whines. "It's too early and he's a fucking lunatic."

"It's 11am." Louis points out.

"Feels earlier." Harry sighs.

"Maybe it's because you never sleep?" Louis offers.

Harry looks up at him, eyes big and green and wide, he looks so cute. So innocent. He's breathtaking, eyes sparkling, brows furrowed. He looks like a pissed-off kitten and it's so adorable that Louis just wants to cuddle this boy forever.

He's taken out of his train of thought by Niall cackling loudly.

"Protect your bum from cum?" He questions, holding up the damn pamphlets. "Don't be posh, You need to wash: How to prepare for anal sex?"

"Oh my god..." Louis mutters. Why? What fucking deity did he piss off?

"Why anal sex is so complex: a guide." Niall reads. Louis' really tempted to become a murderer. "Don't be silly, wrap your willy! Use your hand, To find the gland! What's the prostate and where do you find it? Easy step-by-step tutorial."

"Niall-" Louis warns, attempting to disentangle himself from Harry's grip.

Harry whines, gripping him tighter.

"H, let me go so I can assassinate Niall." Louis pleads, swiping at Niall as best he can, who just steps back.

"Why the fuck do you even have these?!" Niall cackles, putting himself out of Louis' reach.

"Nooo stay Lou." Harry begs, puppy eyes trained on him.

"I'll come back!" Louis exclaims.

"But then they'll be a dead guy." Harry pouts.

"Don't be crass, protect your ass!" Niall adds cheerfully. "Wrap your mango before you tango! Don't be thick, cover your dick!"