✅ Over Protected

25. Mum Tells a Lie

"What?" Mum asked, seeming startled. For a few seconds, the only thing we could hear was the faint sounds filtering through from Sarah's room, where she was venting her frustration by scrubbing the floor with all her strength.

"I was jealous," I said. "Like... all the things you just said about how this would be good for her. Not having the responsibility, getting constant attention from her Mummy, and just having simple rules and simple punishments. I mean... I can see why that's a good thing, and how you could tell yourself it's good for her. But that's why we're different. I can tell that Sarah will never be happy like that. She needs the challenge, and defines herself by what she can do for her friends. But at the same time, while I'm thinking about how bad this will be for her, I was kind of... I realised that I envy her. I want to be able to enjoy a Disney movie without overthinking it. And now I know that STX can make that happen. I want to feel that unconditional love of Mummy looking after me, and not have to worry about all the chores and schoolwork that's taking up more of my life. It seems crazy, but..."

I hesitated, and took a deep breath before continuing. It was probably the hardest thing I'd ever had to say.

"You're going to let Sarah grow up. I'm not giving you a choice there. But if you want a baby again, to catch up on the stuff you missed when we were young, you can do that stuff to me. It took me a long time to understand what I was feeling, but I think that really is what I want."

"You've been doing more of the chores," Mum said slowly. "I thought you were trying to show how mature you are."

"I... Sarah was taking up so much of your time. I felt like I had to do something to help. I think I was trying to support you, I was scared of being a burden."

"You're not," she said. "You are my treasure. I'm sorry that I neglected you. I will promise you now that you don't have to push yourself to take care of this family. And you don't have to be a baby for me. Understand? I should never have pushed your sister into it, and I won't push you. I can be happy with having two good girls and a happy family."

"Thank you. But if you want a baby... I really mean that. I want you to do this stuff to me. I guess, even if I didn't think about it at the time, that's why I didn't want to read too much about what this stuff does. Only what I needed to. I had dreams where I'd challenge you about what you've been doing to Sarah, and then I'd wake up to find I'm a baby again, too helpless to do anything about it. And I know that's probably not possible, but I didn't want to know that for sure. Because a part of me was hoping it would happen. I want to be surprised, and not get the choice. I really do. So, that's three things I'm asking you. To let Sarah go, and show me enough to be sure that Lyra's actually going to be content like this."

"You're willing to believe that?"

"I think so. A part of me always thought that she would act up because she wanted attention. Like, the earliest I remember knowing her... her parents had just split up and moved in with her stepmums. And they treated her like a hot potato, trying to have her as little as possible before they could pass her on. That's why she was so popular, she was always here or at Penny's house. Neither of them wanted her, until they got back together. And all the stuff since then... from doing sex stuff with high school boys, to stealing her dad's CBD thing, I think it's possible she was just trying to get them to notice her. So maybe, after she gets over yelling and sulking about it like she does with every single decision they ever made, she might actually enjoy being loved for once. That is... if they do a better job of it this time round."

"I didn't know how much of that you understood," Mum said with a sigh. "Really, you were too young to understand any of that. You've always been very mature, you know? Needing to understand everything."