32. Friends Share Secrets

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I sat there in silence for a couple of seconds. I didn't know what to say. Did that mean that Lyra had figured out the secret of the Babij diapers just like I had, and knew what her parents were doing to her? Or had she asked them for this? She looked stressed now, like she was making a hard decision, but she'd been smiling when playing with her toys just a minute ago.

"What's up?" I asked, when I realised that she would need a little help to get the words out. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I can see you're nervous about it. Easier just to play, right? Unless there's something you want me to help with."

"No, it's not that," she mumbled. "I uhh... you know what's happened to me, right?"

"I know a few bits. Your parents love you, you know? They want you to be happy, even if it's a little unusual."

"Yeah," she sat back on her heels, and a grin flashed across her face for a second. "It's kind of cool. I mean, I can't do anything bad now, because there's always somebody checking on me. But it's like I got two sets of parents, and any time I need help or something, they're always there. Trust me, there's nothing wrong here. It's more than I ever hoped for, after all the stuff I did. But... I think they lied to you."

"I..." I opened my mouth, ready to say that I already knew. But did I? Did Lyra know the full truth, or just part of it? And did she know what her mum had told me? "What do you mean?"

"You know I got this... disease, right? They thought it was the bedwetting virus at first." And there she pouted for a few seconds. "I can't remember the name of it now. But you know the one, it's been in all the news. I tested positive, anyway. I gambled, that night you came for a sleepover. Thought I was over it, so I didn't wear my... diapers. Even though Dad said I have to. But then I found out it was a different virus. Or maybe not a virus. This one isn't in the news, it's rare, and they don't really know what causes it yet. Yeah, it made me wet the bed. But then I got clumsy at times, and it makes my thinking bad. Sometimes I'm dizzy, and it's hard to tell the difference between real and daydreams. I guess... sometimes I feel all floaty, it's kind of like getting high. Kind of fun, but a bit scary, 'cause I never know when it's going to happen. Like, I'd really be worried if I was still at school. But while they're watching me, I know it's going to be okay. Did they tell you all that?"

"They told me there's a medical thing affecting your brain," I said. "That you can't think so easily, so you can only play little kid games sometimes. Are you okay with that? I mean, you seemed to be having fun."

"Yeah–" Lyra started, and then suddenly looked down at the train set again, and gave it her full attention. For a second I wondered what had distracted her, but then the door opened and Sascha came in. Lyra's dad's new wife; checking that neither of us needed any help with anything, and offering to refill the little sippy cups that we both had our drinks in so that they didn't get spilled while we were playing sprawled out on the floor. Whatever Lyra had been saying, she clearly thought it was a secret. So either she didn't want Sascha to know about it, or she wasn't supposed to be telling me. I sipped on my drink again as the woman walked away, and listened to footsteps vanishing upstairs.

"They told you I need to play with baby toys," she said. "They want to know if you can play with me, so I've still got a friend even if I can't do big girl stuff. Right? So you're playing with a plastic train, or watching like kindergarten cartoons with me, and drinking from a baby cup, just so I'm not the only one and you can help me be more comfortable with it. That's what they asked you, right?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Well, near enough. But–"

"That's the lie," she said. "I overheard Mum, on the phone to your mum. They want to see if you're okay with this stuff. Bringing you here is an excuse to get you used to this stuff. They think you maybe got the same disease, but your mum's scared to tell you something so scary, so she's trying to hide it until you're already thinking baby thoughts and you can't worry about it so much. Coming to play with me, you're a baby not a babysitter. It's a little trick to get you comfortable with this stuff. I feel bad about that, I think you should know."

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