The Prodigal Son

VI

Both Lan Wangji nor Wei Wuxian don't really remember the last time they spoke to their mothers. If they do, they wondered when was that. Do they wonder if they can still remember the last time they expressed how much they live them? If so, When?

Both of them were unsure. By the time they learned and understand everything, a different person already stood by their side. They tend to have this habit of shying away from expressing how important they meant to them.

They admit, they are not used to expressing how much they love them, now and even then. They're sure that they never have said those magic words: I love you. It's not like they are shy about it but they have this kind of feeling they can't say it, that they can never say it.

That changed the moment they lose them. They did stop, too late to say those words. They went through all those years to take all those wills and desires for love. They were raised by others who never gave up on them. People who aren't a family or their own family but feel more than just their families. All through their journey, they witnessed how these people became a part of their lives. They couldn't be more thankful than they usually have.

It wasn't easy to accept a different person and s different form of affection. It wasn't easy to not to notice all the things these people made for them and they ended up hurting them in return. They know it wasn't too late to appreciate all the things these persons had done to them. However, they got to notice it when they aren't there by their side and waiting somewhere beyond their reach.

They gave all their time, understanding, and patience. They admit, they missed everything about these important persons. Lan Wangji missed all the things his brother had done for him. He couldn't express all those bottled feelings, how thankful he was for having an understanding brother like him. On the other, Wei Wuxian missed her, his mother. No words can explain how much he misses her right now but he broke her—he broke his promises. There's nothing more painful and shameful than acting like he never did wrong when he himself made her cry.

These are the feelings they never intended to forget—to appreciate and show whatever these important persons did for them. They knew it was too late to tell them. All that they did to their life just to make sure that they are in a good position. They wasted in and let themselves wallow in their own solitary confinement.

This is what heartbreak feels like. The pain of loss is something that is intimately connected with choices. Everyone has their own stories of lost love, painful memories, and tearful nights alone.

[Brother is here Wangji..]

[I am now family, Ying'er.]

That knife that cuts deeper than that of death. When they lose the one they cherish and let them slip past the veil of the great beyond. To realize this late while in another person's arms.

They realized... Sometimes... something that a stranger blurts out could heal scars or change the direction life is headed. It's not always a person's love ones that mend a wounded heart.

It could be one of the people whom a person crosses paths with.

While they can no longer look into their eyes, they no longer see them looking back at them with love, warmth, and recognition. It's a soul-crushing, heart-wrenching pain beyond belief. It was an irreparable mistake that could tear them open into pieces.

Nothing lasts. All things have to change eventually. In time, all things come to pass. They could keep struggling. But need to keep surviving. Life can and will be satisfying and fulfilling, even without the ones we've lost. It will never be the same, but it is always worth seeing through to the end.

Surely there is someone out there to fill that void with their presence. Just like this—a moment in each other's arms completed that emptiness. That deafening silence was suddenly filled with laughter to the brim.

"Aiyah! Lan Zhan! Your smile took the best of me! I can't believe I was useless this night hunt because of that... Heavens! They should classify your smile as a mass destruction weapon!" Wei Wuxian shrieked, not minding how he shamelessly clung to Lan Wangji. Lan Xichen gave him a soft fond look before placing a cup of tea before them.

"You are happy Wangji." Lan Xichen melancholy said. There was this sadness and softness filled with happiness.

"What? Where in Lan Zhan's face happy is????" Wei Wuxian dumbfoundedly stated. He took Lan Wangji's face to his palms and scrutinized, "Xichen-ge... You're messing with me? Where in this handsome face happy is written?"

Lan Xichen couldn't help but chuckle lightly, "I am not a brother's reader for no reason."

Lan Wangji gave His brother a long look, "boasting is forbidden."

"Aiyah! We're not in cloud recesses so rules don't apply!" Wei Wuxian declared casually taking Lan Xichen's side, "right? Xichen-ge?"

"Right! Wuxian." The two were happy to share the same sentiment for a while. Lan Wangji couldn't help but frown at his 'friend' and brother. The two seemed to be going along well and he finds it very amusing and hard to believe. He knew that his brother is friendly but there was still some kind of gap if ever. But right now, how his brother talks with Wei Wuxian makes something inside him very uncomfortable.

Lan Wangji admitted that he tried so hard for so long to make sense of everything. It's been a long, difficult path to even get himself to understand the interaction. He finds it very difficult to get used to making a mature and responsible decision but right now all rationality is leaving his decade of cultivation. He is jealous.

He just realized that Wei Wuxian had this but part of him that he wants to keep m the beast inside of him wanted to own him, monopolize him the way he wants, and make it so that he couldn't live without him.

"You're jealous..." Lan Xichen whispered. Lan Wangji panicked at his brother's words earning a playful smile from him. Wei Wuxian still oblivious as ever walked in front of them. He was enjoying the streets and playing around. "Need not mind me Wangji. I am not interested in Wuxian..."

Lan Wangji sideward glanced at his brother and then hum.

"Ah! Martial Uncle!" Wei Wuxian happily chirped, running towards a white robe young man. The Lan Brothers noted that Wei Wuxian is older than the others. "When did you descend?"

"I did not... You look good Ying'er." The white robe man said and smiled.

"Ah! This is Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen! From GusuLan!"

"Lan Wangji of GusuLan sect greets Young Master..."

"Lan Xichen of GusuLan sect greets Young Master.."

"Xiao Xingchen, disciples of Baoshan Sanren.. greets young Masters of Lan... Thank you for taking care of Ying'er.."

The two sides exchanged courtesies.

"Uncle! When did you descend?"

"I did not... Master sent me for an errand..."

"Ah... Okay... Then will you be leaving now?"

"I have already seen you... And..."

"And what?"

"She misses you." Xiao Xingchen smiled, "then... I'll take my leave... This is for you... Take care of yourself." Xiao Xingchen smiled and faced the Lan's, "please take care of him.. he might be a little trouble but he is kind... Farewell, Young Masters... Ying'er.."

"Uncle... Can you... Give this to her?"

Xiao Xingchen gave him a nod and smiled. "She'll like this. Take care."

"Please take good care... And..." Wei Wuxian hesitated, "please look after her..."

In the darkest, deepest secrets the Lan Brothers witnessed—they've seen a solo journey full of struggles and groans. What they have seen was a strong man in his most vulnerable state. Figments and entities of his past served as his pain which he can't outlast

"Mother." Was Wei Wuxian's last word that day?

...to be continued...