Life

Rules

rule #1
to be in love you cannot be sane

I learned that the day after I got pushed out of love, looked back at the past 365 days, and got admitted to the local hospital

god pulled me into his office and asked me what the hell I was doing

I asked him what the hell he was doing to me

I won't tell you what I was capable of in that instance but I could tell you the severity of anger my brain had for my hands that same night

rule #2

don't be a writer

writers write about their passion, their obsession

as if we all have OCD we'll write about the same thing over over over over over again

a different representation of the same heartbreak presentation

please, don't be a writer

you will write about him until your hand writes back begging for a 5 minute rest

you will write about him until Lucifer offers you a deal

you will take this deal

rule #3

bring a map

because once you find the perfect terrain, you discover his mind and find that you want to spend rainy nights with this person

you will get so lost in him

that when he's gone, I swear to you that you'll have not the slightest clue how to find yourself again

rule #4

eat before you go to sleep, I mean your favorite kind of ice-cream, candy and eat a lot

because there are going to be mornings when you feel so entirely empty

your stomach will be a hallow reminder that even it got used to his too

the tummy kisses

the I still think you're beautiful kisses

the I should stop writing about you already kisses

rule #5

throw away your phobias for spiders and heights in the garbage- you'll understand when you know that fear is

you waking up at 4 a.m.

when he is waking up at 4 a.m.
but his existence is tangled up from head to her tiny feet in somebody else's sheets

fear is something like him growing out of your favorite sweater, cold hands and the 6 dimes in your pocket and taking a warm latte from a stranger and realizing that he'll realize,

and believe me, he will realize, what he's been missing out on this whole time
I know you tried your best

rule #6

the cute guy who you sit next to during physics class that you can't even keep a five minute conversation going

will not sew up every undone stitch that used to be embroidered throughout your entire chest like you've gotten open heart surgery-

don't you dare kiss 'smart guy from 6th period' expecting to feel anything other than nausea and dizziness because in that exact instance

you'll remember,

someone

who is not you
is messing up the surgeons hair

rule #7 (the most important)

you've got to wash your face

drink some caffeine

brush your teeth

you and your best friend watch your favorite film together and if life keeps giving you hell-
you

just wish them well and do yourself better

Rule #8- don't let her come back

if he loved you, he wouldn't have rejected the conversation of energy and leave scientists mindless

so easily

cause you don't destroy the man that you love,

dissipate the scale of willingness you had to get out of bed, and to eat, and to breathe and have it reach an all time low-

your energy levels are way past zero

gone like he wouldn't have planted marigold flowers in your garden so faithfully and honestly just to promiscuously let them weaken and shrivel up till they can no longer stand tall, chin up

sweetheart I'm only telling you this because I see strength in your eyes and no fight in your fists

gone

because if he really loved you so,

He would've promised breakfast every saturday morning and added too much vanilla in the pancakes

gone

He would've calmed your drunk tears down and spoke truth even if you didn't remember tomorrow

and although he would've never vowed to tomorrow, or swear to give you the world

gone

He would've pretended the freckles on your back remind him of the little dipper

and say that you're his only solar system-

kiss them so he could say he's touching the stars and you both would've made love on the milky way

see, if he was really in love-

he wouldn't have promised you a single day

Xoxo ~ gingersnap
(Qotd : what's your favorite song (currently)?)