Chasing Legacy | ONC2023

Chapter 6: Behind These Hazel Eyes

QUENTIN

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference..." Seeing her glide into the Grand Lobby makes me murmur the Serenity Prayer. 

She's dressed up like a princess. I'm betting that her skin smells better than the scent of every flower in the desert. It once felt like velvet in my hands. I loved kissing each one of her freckles. They made her even more beautiful. Their pattern lets me know I'm in awe of my ex-wife. There's no gown or mask that can conceal her sculpted body from me. Somewhere in my brain, there's a treasure map ingrained with every ridge and valley of this woman. Being in her proximity in this atmosphere, my heart beats to the rhythm of love I still harbor for her.

The dusty pink full skirt of the ball gown she chose to wear tonight makes me reminisce about the wedding dress she wore in the shul, the synagogue, when we got married. It had a butter soft outer layer of tulle, giving her a bateau neckline and refined train all at once. The fabric was embellished with embroidery resembling flocks of snow. A beautiful combination with her beauty marks. 

Since the both of us were born and raised in Reform Judaism, there weren't many traditions or regulations we had to uphold. However, my ex-wife's Orthodox grandmother was our shadchanit, our matchmaker, so we chose to incorporate a few. Grandma's attendance was a small miracle in and of itself, because contact between Orthodox and Reform Jews; a rarity. Even within families. Dinah might have known deep down inside her heart that it'd be the last wedding she could arrange because of her health and respectable age. For her favorite grandchild, she chose to face the possible scrutiny of her strict Memphis community.

You read that right. Dinah Margolis reined me back into my heritage and former stomping ground three years ago. At the age of twenty-eight, she thought it was high time for me to be a devoted husband. Not surprisingly, she knew precisely who would be my complementary counterpart. The apple of her eye was getting up there in age at twenty-three, so for Jewish standards, we were both quite late when it came to marriage. Dear Mrs. Margolis never forgot I once told her I fancied her granddaughter.

Reliving the memories, I realize for the second time this evening that indeed nothing has changed, though this Jewish boy now has a Christian prayer in his repertoire. It's a blessing I haven't needed it for any twelve-step-program. And to be honest, I could use a drink to redirect me from this trip down memory lane.

Turning around to head to the bar, someone clasps my shoulder. "I've seen that longing stare before. I was there that day, and you're doing it again. Maybe even more intense. So no drinking for you yet. Go to her."

"And say what, Trace?" I ask him, looking up from his hand on my right shoulder to the bemused smile on his lips.

I know I can't fool this man. Almost ten years ago, I was Deacon before he actually came around the estate and knocked on its door. I couldn't hold a note to save my life, so Trace and Maurin put me to work in the office, eventually becoming one of the youngest A&R managers in Music City. Feeling at home, I earned myself a spot in the newly forged Ellis family, putting Memphis and all it meant in the back of my head. That went quite well until Dinah Margolis came knocking and put my and my bride's life in a tailspin.

I might have blown out thirty-one birthday candles since, but the dear, very much deceased savta still scares the bejesus out of me. I can't pinpoint why, but I'm certain Grandma Dinah swerves around the hotel tonight, coaxing me in this conversation with Trace.

"True love always finds its way, Q."

I let out an irritated huff. "Everyone on our side of the family knows damn well we didn't marry for love. She wanted an escape out of restrictive Memphis, and because I was a lovesick fool, I went along with her perfect arrangement. Music was her first love and it'll be her last."