Wednesday Season Two: Better The Devil You Woe (A Wednesday Fanfiction)

Episode One: Bad Woemance

One learns early in their life that they will be subject to things that they do not enjoy being subject to. Going to the beach, for example. Or attending a birthday party. Perhaps spending a day at the spa. Despicable. But perhaps the most unpleasant of all for Wednesday Addams was the sobering realization that she would be subject to Nevermore Academy's "Welcome Back" event. A dreadful ninety-minute sojourn of chit-chat, reunitions, and social activities constructed by school administrators who had long since given up on the hopes of any sort of a rewarding or meaningful career. After all, since when was the world of academia concerned about opportunities for socialization and enjoyment? That is what funerals and hostage negotiation scenarios are for.

If the road to Nevermore was a river of uncertainties, then the academy itself was surely the deepest lake of them all. After the near destruction of the school the year prior, it was a veritable miracle that things were up and running at all to welcome students. Clearly there had been some staff changes, based purely out of necessity. And, in typical fashion of any educational institution trying too hard to pander to the pedantic interests of their slack-jawed attendees, a party was the perfect way to sweep a troublesome recent history under the rug.

The buzz of an iPhone in Wednesday's pocket jolted her away from her thoughts as she sat in the backseat of her family's automobile, reaching ever closer to the gates of Nevermore.

"It's like a shock collar for dogs." Wednesday muttered to herself as she pulled the phone from her pocket. "And not the fun kind."

As usual, a plethora of text messages awaited her, the most recent of which originated from Enid asking Wednesday for the seventeenth time that morning when she would be arriving to Nevermore's Welcome Back event. Wednesday quickly typed back a reply; With any luck, well after it's concluded.

"Look at our little sinkhole!" Gomez Addams exclaimed from the adjacent seat in the vehicle, "So excited to reunite with all her friends that she can't put that down!"

Wednesday locked the phone screen, shooting a glare towards her father.

"I'm merely placating one of them to prevent an early coronary brought on from a lack of constant social contact." Wednesday snapped. "I hear it's a rather prevalent cause of death for youth these days."

"Looking to prolong the life of an acquaintance?" Morticia Addams replied, "She really is making friends!"

A barrage of emojis from Enid assaulted Wednesday's phone, as if an epileptic cat was let loose on a keyboard. The phone that Xavier had gifted her was an enigma of technological accessibility. On one hand, it provided countless hours of entertainment due to the abundance of assassination videos and nuclear testing films circulating the internet. On the other hand, it was a relentless leash to the social lives of her friends and classmates who were apparently in the business of sharing every waking minute of their lives through tweets, TikToks, and text messages. But it also acted as a gateway to yet another mystery. Buried in the slew of text messages from her peers was the one unknown number that had been contacting her since she obtained the phone. At first Wednesday thought it was likely a poorly crafted prank by Xavier. After all, he would have been the most obvious one to know the phone number. But upon closer inspection, the mysterious messages were far too different. Proper punctuation. Impeccable spelling. Xavier's efforts at texting consisted of internet slang, an overuse of memes, and far too many attempts at invites to mundane happenings during the semester break.

The Addams Family vehicle slowed, before turning a corner and approaching the all too familiar gates of Nevermore Academy. But this time, the usually desolate gates were not alone. Two heavily armed guards stood on each side of the academy's stone arches while a third approached the driver's side window. Wednesday's eyes widened, not in fright, but in delight at this unexpected development.