The Flynn Effect

53 | an unlikely reunion

Jo

I'VE NEVER BEEN more fascinated by the way steam rises from a cup until now. It's like mist, almost invincible but I see it slowly rise in waves and then dissipate softly. I've been watching it do the same thing ever since the cup of coffee was placed it front of me and I haven't looked up or said a word to the man in front of me because I don't know how to begin.

Any minute from now, it's going to run cold.

"I didn't get to see you the last time I stopped by," Dad says, breaking the silence. "You've grown up so much."

I'm staring at the dark, brown liquid in my cup but I blink when he speaks. Like his voice pulled me out of a trance. It's still the same. But when I look up at him, he's aged. Thin grey hairs peak at me through his neatly combed hair and there are wrinkles around his eyes, forehead and lips. He looks older than his age.

I don't say anything in response. I'm just looking at him and how much Drew looks like him. I'm just looking at him and remembering how much pain he caused us when he left.

His lips lift a little, like he remembers something and he lifts his cup again and brings it to his mouth. "You know, I didn't think I'd see you again."

"You left." Is all I say.

He nods like he's ashamed. "I know how much that hurt you—"

I don't know what annoys me most. How casually he speaks about this or how looking at him makes me torn between lashing out at him and hugging him so tight, he can't run away again. "No, you don't. You absolutely have no idea of how much you hurt me, Drew and Mum so don't even say that."

He stretches his hands on the table and reaches for mine but I don't accept them. Hurt flashes through his eyes when I do and he rubs a hand over his chin. "Everyone makes mistakes, Josephine. We're human. We're not beyond that."

"That's your excuse?" I ask incredulously. "That's why you left me at the park all by myself just to abandon the rest of us and flee with another woman who was carrying your child? That's why you stopped sending child support after the first year and left mum to handle it all by herself? That's why you thought you were better off without us? Because you're human and you make mistakes or because you're selfish and the only person you think about is yourself?"

He looks round when a few heads turn to us and lowers his voice. "Josephine, if we're going to talk, I'm going to need you to calm down."

I had no idea I was agitated enough to the extent that I'd started raising my voice in his face. I lean back against the chair and exhale like I'm out of breath. I grab the cup in front of me and lift it to my mouth but it's gone cold and it annoys me even further.

"You're mad, I get it." Dad says. "I left without a word and I'm sorry, okay? What I did wasn't good enough but we can move past that. I'm not the same man I was five years ago. We can—" He gets interrupted when his phone rings and his lips seal into a tight line when he glances at his phone.

"Look," he says, tucking his phone back into his pocket. "I need to leave." Again. "I'm sorry, baby but it's urgent. Let's try this tomorrow, okay?"

He gets to his feet and takes out a card from his pocket before scribbling a few words on it and placing it in front of me. "Let's meet up here. Think about it, okay?" He smiles and then he turns around and leaves without another word.