The Flynn Effect

36 | a shitty birthday

Jo

I WAKE UP to the blinding lights in the hospital. I blink once and then twice and then I feel a warm palm engulfing mine and when I turn my head to the side, I see my dad. He's smiling at me but he looks like he's about to apologize for something.

I lift my head and the image dissolves and the next thing I know, I'm staring at my mum. I look down at my hand and see that she's the one holding me and I close my eyes and drop my head with slight disappointment.

"You're awake." She says, stroking my cheek with her thumb. "Don't scare us like that again."

I don't open my eyes as she speaks but I hear another familiar voice and I know it belongs to Dr Lin. I open my eyes and direct my gaze to hers.

"Good afternoon, Jo. It's a good thing your mum brought you in as soon as she could. Why didn't you tell her you'd run out of glucose?"

"I forgot." I lie. Maybe I was trying to hurt myself. Maybe I wasn't.

Dr Lin nods but I'm sure she doesn't believe me. "You know carelessness and diabetes don't go hand in hand. You're only going to hurt yourself if you're not careful, Jo. Okay?"

I nod and mum gives me a cup of water. I take it gratefully and sigh. I just want to go home.

"Alright." The doctor smiles. "We're just going to set you up for an insulin pump so you don't have to use the conventional syringe anymore. It's easier, less painful and it might take you a few days, but you'll get used to it jutting out your stomach."

That's the first good news I've heard today. A small genuine smile lifts my lips. I turn to mum because I know how expensive it is to get me a pump and I squeeze her hand gratefully.

"You don't need to thank me, honey. I've been planning this for a while now." She says. "I just want you to be more comfortable. I know you don't tell me but I see the look on your face each time you hold that syringe up."

"So we're just going to forget this happened this morning and start your day all over again." Dr Lin says. Then she gives me a curious smile. "Your mum tells me it's your birthday today."

It's impossible for me to forget that I spent most of my day at the hospital today but I let her talk anyway. I nod again because honestly, I don't really feel like saying anything, partly because my throat is still a little dry and partly because I just want to get today over with.

"Happy birthday Jo." She grins and I forcefully grin back. "You're stable now so I can let you go early and carry on with your birthday and Thanksgiving celebration. Sound good?"

Another nod.

"Good." She shuts her binder and then she turns to my mum. "Mrs Pryce? Can I see you?"

My mum nods and caresses my hand one more time before leaving the room with the doctor. I close my eyes and rub my hands down my face. I'm sure I've ruined everyone's day at home already. We're supposed to be having fun—no matter how dry it is—since it's Thanksgiving but my singular careless mistake, has already cost us more than half of the day. I open my eyes wide and stare at the ceiling because I could already feel tears welling up behind my eyelids and crying will not solve anything. So I stare at the ceiling and wait for my mum to return and try, like Dr Lin said, to forget about the last few hours even though I know that's practically impossible.