You Are My Everything

Chapter 20- I Hate That I Love Him

-next morning-
~Kiara's POV~
I got woken by a light shining in my face. I rolled over, rubbed my eyes, then opened them to see I was in Sarah's room. I sat up, confused at first, then I looked at my phone and all the missed calls and messages from JJ made me remember what happened last night and why I was here.

I looked over and saw that I was alone, then I sat there and listened, hearing the hustle and bustle of Sarah's family downstairs. I rubbed my face and looked around the room for a minute. Then I turned my attention back to my phone and saw that almost all of my notifications were from JJ.

Hey I'm sorry
Listen I shouldn't have said that, I didn't mean it.
Kie can you please at least text me back so I know you're ok?
Kie I love you.
I love you so much.
You mean the world to me.

Those were only some of the messages before I turned off my phone and threw it to the other side of the bed. I leaned on the headboard of the bed and rubbed my face. I looked up at the ceiling, playing around with my wedding/ engagement ring, questioning everything. Was this the right choice? Did we rush into this too soon all because we're having a baby together? Would it have been better just to stay friends and co-parent?

My thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of the door opening. I saw Sarah slowly come in, then she noticed me awake. "Hey Kie, uh breakfast is ready downstairs. Do you... want to come downstairs, or I can bring it up here if you want."

I gave her a slight smile and shook my head. "Thanks Sarah... but I'm not hungry right now..."
She left the room and came back 5 minutes later with some pancakes and fruit. "I know you said you weren't hungry, but you're pregnant... you have to eat."

I laughed a bit under my breath and rolls my eyes as I sat up and took the plate from Sarah. "Thanks."
She gave me a small smile and sat next to me. "No problem... you ok after last night?"
I looked at her, then look back down. "I don't know..."

She looked at me and grabbed my hand. "Look Kie... I understand what he said was wrong... but he was high, he didn't mean it."
I looked at her. "Ok yea I get he was high Sarah. But you know what they always say... wasted words are sober thoughts... he could've very well meant it..." I looked down at my stomach and put my hand on it. "What if we just rushed into this all too quickly just because of this baby? Maybe this was all a mistake."

Sarah shook her head and looked at me. "Kie, I get why you think that. But he loves you so so much. The way his eyes light up when he talks about you. The way he looks at you. The way he cares for you. JJ loves you and this baby more than anything in this world. He didn't mean it, trust me."

I looked at her. "Really?"
She sort of looked desperate and laughed a bit. "Yes Kie, this man is crazy about you..."
I looked down, not knowing what to think or say. "I'll talk to him later about it... right now, let's just forget it..."
She looked at me and I could tell she wanted to keep talking about it, but she stopped herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Few hours later, I took a shower and Sarah went to mine and JJ's place to grab me an outfit and my hair stuff. Once I got out of the shower, Sarah was in her room. "Hey, here's the stuff you asked for. You want me to leave the room so you can get changed?" She gave me a bag with the stuff.

I looked up at her and gave her a smile. "Thanks. And no, you're fine." I got changed and did my hair. I kept hearing my phone go off, which I have been ignoring all day because I do not want to talk to JJ.
"Kie, your phone is blowing up." Sarah told me.

I looked at her as I was diffusing my hair. "Yea I know... it's JJ..."
She looked out the window of her room and then back at me. "Kie you have to talk to him about this... you know that 9/10 marriages fall apart because of lack of communication?"

I looked at her. "I don't need statistics on marriage..." I looked at myself in the mirror and looked at my ring. I looked down at it and played around with it on my finger. "Maybe this marriage was a mistake..."
Sarah looked at me and sort of laughed. "Come on Kie... you can't be serious..."

Once I was done with my hair, I looked at Sarah and sat next to her on the bed. "Maybe I am... maybe I'm not... I don't know anymore..." I leaned back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling with my hand on my stomach. "All I do know is that we're having a baby together... which is probably the reason why we rushed into this relationship and got married so quickly..."

Sarah laid down next to me. "Well... I know of another reason why you guys got married..."
I looked at her, waiting for her answer.
"Because you two love each other. And you can't deny that."

I rolled my eyes and looked back up at the ceiling. "I hate that I love him..."
I heard Sarah laugh under her breath. "No you don't..."
I shrugged. "Maybe you're right..."
She sat up and looked at me. "Ok, realistically, do you see you two actually breaking up over this?"

I looked at her. "I... no..."
She sort of had a little smile on her face. "See? So don't you think you overreacted? Just a tad?"
I shook my head. "No I don't. He had no reason or excuse to say that. Yes he was high, but it still hurt me and could very easily change our relationship because he could have very well been telling the truth..."

She looked at me. "You know how I know that's a lie? Because when I went to your place to get you your stuff, he was there. He was going on and on about how much he's sorry and that he didn't mean any of it. That he was high and he regrets everything that happened last night. He was desperate and feels so bad about what happened."

I looked at her and didn't say anything.
"At least go and see him. Talk to him about it. Work this out." She told me.
I nodded my head. "Alright fine... I'll go talk to him."

~~~~~~~
Sarah drove me back to the cut and we were now at JJ and I's place. I hesitated before finally walking in.

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