I Trust The Moon - DRAFT 1 (DRAFT 2 COMING SOON)

Chapter 1

Broken glass, tears, blood, and panic. And it never mattered if I wanted it or not. All that mattered was that I kept quiet and pretended like everything was okay.

The red skin surrounding the small lines itches, but I keep my sleeves down like always. They laugh and speak as if nothing happened. I was never good at acting, in fact my emotions were easily readable, and I was even worse at acting when I didn't care to try. Kaz is the only person to ever notice it.

"Hey, you okay?" she asks. I nod but it's obvious I don't mean yes. She peers at me for a moment then pushes out of her chair. "It's getting late, c'mon Ari, we still have stuff to pack." I stand up to follow after her as she speaks under her breath, "Or unpack I should say." I nudge her on her shoulder and our parents say their goodnights as we skip up the stairs to my bedroom.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kaz growls. She sits on my bed with her arms crossed.

"What?" I whisper, confused.

"Don't what me. Y'all are moving away. You should be happy. They're doing this for you."

I close the door behind me and lean against it, the cold door knob shocks my back. "Not for me, for Amias."

"Both of you. You're only eighteen."

"I think that's old enough to leave."

"Mom would kill you."

"If I didn't do it first."

She looks into my eyes. "Don't joke about that."

"I wasn't laughing."

She takes a deep breath, scooches over, and pats the empty spot on the bed beside her. I follow her hand and sit, folding my legs underneath each other.

"Look, I'm supposed to be a big sister and tell you that it's not good to be suicidal or whatever, but I don't think that's what I'd wanna hear if I were you."

I smile. "Good judgment."

"I know what you're going through. I was in your place for years before dad left."

"Dad?" I raise my eyebrows.

"My dad, sorry."

Kaz's father was disgusting. He hurt mom too many times. He hurt Kaz. He hurt me. I'm so glad Amias wasn't around yet because he would have hurt him too. He isn't my biological father, just Kaz's. My dad is Amias' too. He's a real dad, someone who actually tries to be a dad.

"I don't think he deserves that title."

"Honestly, yeah, you're right. I'm glad you weren't old enough to have experienced him like mom and I did."

I express my annoyance with my hands. "I was still there, it's not like I don't remember."

"I know that, but-" she lays back to face the ceiling, "it's different."

"How different is it? I had to deal with him just as much." My voice gets higher pitched as I get more pissed off.

She sucks in air between her teeth, "I doubt that."

If Kaz wasn't such a stuck up bitch, she'd probably be my favorite person ever. I love Kaz, in fact I've never hated her, but her ways of thinking always piss me off. It would take years for someone to change her mind. That isn't always a bad thing, but when she's wrong, it's so fucking annoying. If she knew the whole truth of her dad's and I's history, she'd be apologizing with tears in her eyes. But I can't tell her. Or anyone.

I stand up from the bed and tug at her ankles. "Off."

"Stoooop," she groans.

"Either you're helping me pack or you're getting out."