She Kills (2016)

Thirteen

 Years had passed, people had passed, dreams had passed but I was getting forty and I was still alive and kicking. Kicked as well, but I didn't want to think about it. My mother's words were still in my head and I had discovered another way of feeling close to her, feeding my spiritual self. It was also a way to a better future, made of fresh hope.

Nonetheless, I was feeling I had reached nothing but failure. I was in a good company, actually, but it didn't help much.

After Veronica left me, I was spending most of the time, having dinners at home and inviting friends in to join. I had changed flats, bought a new one, to close the previous chapter of my life. A brand new start needed brand new things. I couldn't stand the guys who were now living in the other flat across the corridor to my door. It couldn't be any other way, they were not my best friends. I had to move out.

Carlo came over for a dinner, one night. He was always away, traveling to South America. Now that he was back, he had to tell me about his latest trip. After we had eaten and drunk all that was possible, we chatted about girls like in the old good times.

"Who's the lucky one, now?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Who are you dating, who are you shagging, mate?"

"Absolutely nobody and I'm fine, thank you."

"Aw, please!"

"Did you find anyone in need of some luck? I didn't."

"That's because you are a crap. You should come with me, next time I go to Brazil. It is full of beautiful and happy girls, just like in Spain, many years ago."

"I just wanted to ask you, why you're going so often there."

"I guess, I want to have some fun. The people over there are joyful. Here it's like a funeral."

"I envy you, really."

"I know. You should come over for the Carnival; a complete mess!"

"No, thanks. I've had enough of Carnivals."

"You're scared."

"Of what? Masks?" I laughed.

"Of life. The Carnival is a representation of life."

"I'm scared of the consequences of these representations. I was ill for months after Cadiz."

"For years, indeed, with that crazy idea you came up with."

"That was the only nice thing I had in years."

"Aw yeah! Where did it lead you to? Your latest girlfriend left your nice flat, months ago."

"Yes, she packed up her suitcases and stole my fresh hyphens from the fridge. I was starving that night."

My friend laughed loudly and so did I. It was a long time since we've had anything to laugh about.

"At least she left me some wine," I ended.

"Women are incredible."

"She bought some fish for dinner, that night. It was too much for her so she left it here."

"Really. How many girls did we date in the last ten years?"

"Don't ask me. I've lost the count."

"I remember just a few of them."

"Let me guess: Elisa, Mariola and Ruth."

"Not really. Of course Elisa and Ruth, but also Maria. Shit, sex with her was fantastic."