Apurva and Shashank - Not all Romance and Roses

Apurva and Shashank: Four years on...

Apurva :

Apurva clutched the tiny white strip in her hand and paced the room. What was taking him so long to come up?? She had heard him enter the house ten minutes ago, but then heard Dada Kaka call him to the living room to meet a visitor he had.

She couldn't wait to tell him. He would be thrilled beyond words, ecstatic at the news. She had seen him with Varun and Amruta – the tenderness with which he handled them, the way he became a small child when he played with them, and she knew he would be all that and more with their baby.

Yes, it might be too much at the moment, what with her new job and his new project, but then that was the advantage of living in such a huge family wasn't it? There was always someone to take care of the baby, to entertain it, to get it to sleep or just play while the parents took off to work. She was grateful for that.

Were those his footsteps outside the corridor? She suddenly felt shy. Usually, she wasn't shy with him about anything. She had the ability to discuss anything under the sun with him, without fear. But for some reason, the thought of telling him the news of their baby was making her blush.

"Apurva, kay karteys? Yerzharya ka maarteys? Ikade ye. Mala tula ek khup massta good news dyaychi aahe!!" She looked up and saw his beaming face. "Khadus, tujhya kade pan good news aahe? Majhya kade pan," she smiled at him.

"Aga, tu majhi news aikshil na, tar udich maarshil. Tu bas. Mala tula neet sagla sangaychay," Shashank said, hurriedly taking off his laptop bag and keeping it on the table. He grabbed her by the shoulders and sat her down on the bench near their bed. She smiled and shoved the strip into her pocket. Her good news could wait. Her khadus never smiled so much, and she wanted to savour the moment.

"Aaj na, dean sir-aani mala office madhe bolavla. Aamchya institute cha America madhe NIH sobat collaboration hotay. Majha jo research chalu aahe, tyachyavar te suddha research kartyayt. Tyanni mala tithe bolavlay, Apurva, tyanna madat karayala, majhe findings share karayla. Kamit kami eka mahinya sathi java laagel. Aani tithe gelyavar, majhya research madhe kiti fayda hoeel. Mala vichar karunach anand hotoy!!" Shashank was smiling from ear to ear.

Tu Americe la challays? Kadhi?" Unknowingly, she shoved the strip deeper into her pocket.

"Maybe next week? Maagchya varshi gelo hoto tevhacha visa aahech valid. Aata ticket kadhaychay phakta. NIH waalyanshi bolun taarikh tharavto aaj ratrich. Bara, aik na. Tu pan yetes ka majhya barobar? Washington khup sundar aahe. Weekends la massta phiru aapan!," Shashank was already making plans.

"Me? Nahi re, Khadus. Aatach saha mahinyanpurvi tar job laaglay mala. Itakyat sutti milnaar nahi. Tu jaun ye. Pan lavkar ye, ok?," she smiled tremulously. He hugged her, enveloping her in one of his bear hugs.

She knew in that moment that she couldn't tell him about the test she had taken merely an hour before. If she had, he would never leave her and go, and this was an important milestone in his career, something that meant the world to him. This news could wait. It was only the matter of a month, and she had so many people to take care of her here.

Shashank:

The week before he left was so hectic that Shashank barely got the time to speak to Apurva. There was pending work on his project, late night calls with NIH to figure out their schedule there, and plus a million other things to sort out about his travel to the US. She was busy at work too, and seemed tired once she was home. He would take her on a vacation once he was back, he promised himself.

A month in Washington passed by. When he was at work, time seemed to fly, but when he was back in his spartan room in the Institute's guest house, it seemed to crawl. He was used to always being among people, hearing their voices. Hearing Apurva's voice as she told him about her day, every minute detail of it. This silence was killing him.

He tried calling her as many times as possible, but the time difference didn't always make it possible. So when the day of his return finally dawned, he was beyond excited to see her and the rest of his family. He told them he would be arriving a day later, just so he could see their surprised faces when he landed up at the door. He bought pretty much every chocolate he could see at the airport, putting aside all thoughts of dollar-rupee conversion, and silencing the tiny Dada Kaka voice that always lived inside his head.

He landed early in the morning in Mumbai and by the time he reached Nasik, he assumed it would be time for everyone to leave for work. He was hoping to catch all of them in the osari, drinking tea and chatting away before they all went their own ways. But there was no one. The house seemed silent, almost gloomy, when it should have been the opposite, on what was a bright winter morning.

"Panna, zhala ka dabba tayar? Patkan de, mhanje me aani Amey lagech hospital la jaayla nighto. Suva ratra bhar thambliye. Damli asel ti suddha. Kadhi ekda majhya pori la bhetate asa zhalay mala," he heard Mai call, as she came down the stairs.

Wait a minute, did she say hospital? Who was in hospital? He dropped his bags, including the plastic bag of chocolates and rushed in, running into Mai as she came down the stairs.

"Shashank! Tu udya yenaar hotas na?? Mag aaj kasa kaay aalas? Sangitla ka nahis aadhi? Tula kiti phone kele Amey ni!" Mai's voice was trembling. The knot in the pit of his stomach tightened. He had a feeling this had something to do with Apurva.

"Mai, kay zhalay? Kon hospital madhe aahe? Apurva kuthe aahe? Ti bari aahe na?" Mai looked down at the ground, instead of answering, and in that moment he knew.

They didn't waste too much time after that. The ride to the hospital was a blur. In the background, he could hear Amey Da telling him that Apurva had come home tired from work the previous day and complained of cramps. They had taken her to hospital immediately, but it was too late. They had lost the baby. They had lost the baby he didn't even know was coming. But all his thoughts were focused on Apurva.

Why had he gone on this damn trip? Why wasn't he with her when she was going through this traumatic experience? Was that research more important than her? He sprinted up the stairs of Dr Vartak's hospital two at a time, these thoughts racing through his head.

Dr Vartak was outside her room, talking to the gynecologist. But he could wait, the chat with the doctor could wait. Shashank had to see her first. He pushed the door open and saw her sleeping, exactly like she did back at home., exactly like he had left her a month ago. But inside, he knew she had changed.

He tiptoed to the bed and sat down gingerly at the side, holding her hand and fighting the tears that were threatening to overpower him. "I am sorry Apurva," he said to himself. I wish you had told me, and I wish I had asked you that day what your good news was. She woke up in minutes, stared at him groggily for a few seconds and then said, incredulously, "Khadus? Tu aalays ka?

"Ho, Apurva, me aaloy. Kashiyes tu? Bara vatatay ka aata?" He gripped her hand even harder.

"Ho, me theek aahe. Khadus, sorry me tula sangitla nahi. Mala vaatla hota, eka mahinyacha tar prashna aahe. To paryanta tu parat yeshil aani tevha saangen me tula. Sorry, kharach," Apurva was tearing up.

She was saying sorry to him?? Shashank couldn't believe her. He kissed her forehead, as gently as he could, feeling a tear fall on her face as he did.

"Khadus, baba mhanala there was no heartbeat to the baby. Me ghari suddha konalach sangitla nahi. Saglyat aadhi tula sangaycha hota mala, pan aata..." she trailed off.

"Apurva... ssshh. It's ok. Tu aaram kar, aani kuthlyach goshti cha tension gheu nako. Me aahe ithech."

"Me tension ghet nahiye, Khadus. Aata tu aalays na? Tu astanna mala kuthlyach goshtichi bhiti vaatat nahi."

He hugged her again on hearing those words. She was right. Marriage and life wasn't always about romance and roses. Some days were hard, like today. But as long as they had each other, as long as they were holding each other's hand, life would be bearable. They would get through this hard day and there would be more wins, more good news to come. He looked forward to that, and to celebrating those wins with his Shishta.