trauma - richie tozier angst

well now i'm worried for my soul.

(lowercase intended)
(liv knows)
BTW IF YOU WANNA START A DISCORD JIZZ FAMILY DROP YOUR DISCORD 💪💪

"aaand game!" beverly yelped, throwing her card down.

"WHAT?!" richie screamed. "nah, this is rigged." he stood and walked out of the room, the losers giggling.

"nice play, bev!" ben cheered, offering her a high-five. she slapped his hand with a wide smile.

"about time someone beat him," stanley chuckled.

"i can already see it in the headlines," eddie joked, and the losers tittered.

richie laughed to himself at the play of uno, making his way to the kitchen to get water. he felt his phone buzz and picked it up.

birth giver: rich, we need you home by 2:30 in the afternoon tomorrow if that's possible

richie: yess okay
richie: why, you guys have something planned for me??? 😏

birth giver: no, but you can't stay at stanley's for a third day

richie: ikkkkkkk
richie: just i didn't wanna go back while dad was mad

birth giver: he wants you to come back so he can apologize, okay?

richie: k

richie sighed, set his phone down, drank some water, and put the cup down. he cleaned the empty dish and wiped it dry, whistling as he put the cup back into stanley's cupboards.

stanley knew he did this, but always wondered why. he's told richie not to, and that he can handle it himself, but richie only ignored him.

richie re-joined the group, and they were now picking a movie. he plopped on a couch with beverly and eddie, holding eddie in a hug the second he got on. he sighed and buried his head into the crook of the shorter boy's neck, leaving eddie incredibly confused.

"are you okay?" eddie whispered genially.

"what do you mean, eds? i'm amazing!" richie said.

"okay.. you just aren't normally this clingy," eddie chuckled.

"we both know that's a fat ass lie, edwardo," richie said.

"eh, fair," eddie shrugged. richie smiled and blushed. he only stayed in the hug with eddie, never wanting to let go.

after twenty minutes of richie just melting into eddie, beverly tapped the curly haired boy's shoulder.

"yeeesss?" richie mumbled, half asleep.

"you okay?" she asked.

"yeeessss," richie laughed.

"okay," she sighed and sat back.

richie fell asleep in the next five minutes, exhausted as per usual. he liked noisy background, it helped him sleep. his past with his parents wasn't the greatest, to the point they argued every night. richie learned to sleep through it.

but, on the bright side, they were both much better. maggie was a great mom, wentworth was an okay father. richie appreciated that.

he just found it hard to sleep on such quiet nights. that's why he grew up hating the silence. it always sat awkwardly with him, whenever their friend-group was quiet, richie had to speak or he'd go insane.

that's what taught him to come up with the snarkiest comments out of no where as easily as he had.

the sun rose and stanley and bill were both already awake and in the kitchen, talking quietly amongst themselves.

richie stirred awake, careful not to wake eddie. he crawled off of the couch and tiredly trudged to the kitchen. stanley and bill stopped talking and both looked at him, richie stopping to stare back at them.

"what?-" richie asked awkwardly.

bill shrugged. "n-nothing. good morning."

richie nodded and hopped on the counter, which stanley leaned against.

"morning, rich," stanley mumbled.

"hi stanny!" richie exclaimed. he patted the counter top beside him. "come sit with me!"

stanley smiled in defeat and got up on the counter with richie, who leaned into him and put his head on his shoulder.

"you good?" stanley asked.

"yes, you're now my human pillow," richie smiled. stanley chuckled, and he and bill continued their conversation.

the losers all woke up and had their breakfast and later on went for a ride throughout derry together.

"woah! guys! stop!" stanley yelped, causing all of the losers came to a halt immediately.

"what?!" beverly yelped.

"look!" stanley screamed. he hopped off of his bike, putting the stand down and creeping over to a herd of birds. he fanned the losers over with another finger over his lips.

"yeaa, i know damn well stanley doesn't want me bird watching with him," richie chuckled.

"why's that?" eddie asked.

"i always scare off the birds when i go with him," richie said.

eddie laughed. "can i..?" he asked, referring to joining stan.

"duh! have fun, eds, take lots of picture so i can hang them on my wall!" eddie scoffed and richie smiled proudly.

the losers all dropped their bikes at a curb just in case of oncoming traffic, and richie waited for him to be done.

the sound of car engines sounded, echoing through the small area richie and the losers were. richie frowned and looked at the losers, who were all lying on their stomachs and sitting on their knees, carefully watching the birds and acting interested as stanley did his thing.

richie looked forward at where the sound came from and his eyes widened, face turning pale. he kicked the bicycle stand up and started biking away as fast as possible.

henry and his friends hollered, laughing their asses off as they started to drive, chasing richie. richie pedaled faster than he ever had before, panting like a dog as he tried to keep his shaking body still.

"shit, shit, shit," he whispered, tears pricking the back of his eyes.

"GET BACK HERE, FAGGOT!" henry screamed, and the car sped up. richie kept his eyes in front of him, trying his best to get away.

he turned into some skinny alleyway and accidentally fell off of his bike. he looked behind him, watching through the small crack as the bowers gang's car flew past.

richie took a deep breath and decided to get the fuck out of there, jogging to the other side of the alleyway.

"please, please.. i need someone to help.." he whispered to himself, praying to seek help from someone in this awful town. he started to grab at his phone once again, only to hear a car coming to a stop.

he jerked his head up, eyes widening. richie jumped backwards, falling to the ground. henry and his friends got out of the car and ran over to richie, immediately beating the shit out of him.

"what're you doing here, you fucking fairy?!" henry screamed in his face. richie winced and coughed as henry punched the glasses off of his face.

"ge- get o-off!" richie yelped, coughing and gasping for breath.

"whatever you say," henry said with a smirk, looking up at his other friends. "maybe this will teach you not to be a fag in my town."

richie couldn't see much, but from what he squinted up at, he noticed the four boys leaving and a half-dressed girl.

richie's eyes widened and he felt tears crowd his eyes as she bent down and started.

(im so sorry for writing that i really didn't want to either but its a part of the book luvs 😭)
THERES NO MORE OF THAT I PROMISE YOU ITS JUST ANGST FROM NOW ON