I need help

27/02/2023

Right so i spent all night crying last night and all morning so that is amazing oh and me and my now ex got back together then something got sent to my now ex that I didn't even mean oh and now I don't know what to do his life is just shit. Also fun fact I was learning about depression today and mental health and I asked a hypothetical question and in the next lesson this girl said "m/n is being so annoying she kept going on about how she had depression because her dad died" not once did I say that even though I do cos my mental health is shit and all that anyway I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason so if my ex you know who you are is reading this we were lent to go out and we were ment to break up and I am sort that my shit mental health got in the way and also maybe that reason  was to help me realise that I am the problem carouser i am the reason everyone who I meet becomes hurt and that it is my fault my dad died because I could have though harder tried to stop him harder try to make him stay help him get through his bad mental health but the truth is is there a way we can get help I am too afraid to get help because of what people will say and I am not being funny but if you know who I am you know that used to try and joke about try to ignore it but now that you all had ago at me for trying to find light even I the darkest of places cause DMZ to cast the dark on my and hive light to the dark but that didn't work did it it's all still dark it's all just the light is gone because I was sick scruffy bastard number one I still am but you know what at this point I couldn't care less because the darkness has consumed me chewed me up and spit me back out darker than the darkest of darkness not even the brightest of lights can save me now I am too deep is too far ahead any way I am gonna go drown if my self potty living my worst life as a single Pringle x thanks so much for reading. Xxx love you all xxxx also all parts unedited