Forty-three

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I've made too many rounds in the living room, one hand on my waist, and another in my hair

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I've made too many rounds in the living room, one hand on my waist, and another in my hair. I can't sit or stand still; there's too much confusion whirling in my head. What the hell is going on with my life? Just as I try to find a bearing on one thing, another pop and it's more bizarre than the other, which makes me wonder when will I get to have a normal life again.

I'm exhausted. It's fucking exhausting.

"Can you please sit down? You're about to make me dizzy," Red bleats from behind me, cutting through my overwhelming thoughts.

"What if she is alive?" I leap back and look at him; he's on the couch, watching every stride I make for a couple of minutes now. "I mean...I don't know what to think anymore, Red! And here we are" —- I side-stretch my arms for emphasis — "back to the house where some friggin' goons died last night! Could it get any better? Oh, I swear my abuelita would be so thrilled to watch this grand episode of La Tormentosa Vida de Mia Vera! There! The stormy life of Mia Vera; wonderful title, isn't it?" I laugh pathetically for I do feel so pathetic that it makes me furious.

Red stands up. "You need to calm down," he says gently and my eyes crease. How can he be so cool and collected right now despite the barrage of nonsense surrounding us? "Look," he goes on, standing next to me, "I'm sure there's a way to find out about Anne or her body, but one thing at a time." He soothingly rubs my back while drawing my body into his arms.

Oh, I needed it! I melt in his embrace.

Petulanty, I let his warmth bask me as I mutter, "I wish she were alive so I can know what exactly happened that day. As much as I hated her, I don't think she deserved death as a punishment. Right?" I gaze up at him, and he lifts an eyebrow affirmatively. I hug him tighter, laying my head on his chest. "God, I just want this nightmare to end. I can't live like this anymore; it's draining me. I'm going crazy every day!"

"I know, baby." He kisses my hair, and a long breath expels through his nose when he rests his chin on top of my head. "And you can't stay here now that we know what a psycho your ex-husband is. We should get going."

I let out a frustrated sigh. I hate Patrick Kingston with all my heart. I can't believe he purchased half of the building just because I live in it! And to make matters worse, he bugged my house with cameras that Luca and his guys found while cleaning up.

How far is he willing to go just to make my life miserable? I've spent the whole evening wondering. It gives me chills to imagine him watching Red and me making love. How disgusting! Also, it means he knows about my relationship with Red.

"I'm not sure if there is any safe place for me in Portland." I pull out of Red's arms. A frown of agreement flits on his face. "But you're right, I can't stay here. I'll just get some important office documents and a few stuff. Maybe I'll stay in a hotel until the launch? I don't know. I don't fucking know." I laugh again and pace around.

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