the wrong side of loneliness | completed

1

"Omigosh, and our first date was literally on a yacht!" Selma held the phone away from her ear as her best friend let out a high-pitched squeal.

It was 7:30 P.M, and Selma had just received a call from Minny, who had recently went out on a date with someone from a dating app. Which was...risky. But Minny seemed happy enough.

Selma turned the heat down on the stove and stirred the noodles she was making for her late dinner. She had worked a little late into the evening so she could take time off tomorrow morning. Selma needed a self-care day, and tomorrow would be just that.

"A yacht? Like a party? How old is this guy anyways? Semi-old?" Selma set her pair of chopsticks down and viewed her messages with Minny, looking for a picture of the guy.

Minny kept talking. "Exactly. Yep. Semi-old and dirty rich. And he's still got it, you know? The abs and the body. You would think that he would be dissolving into fat by now, but holy crap, he's super hot..."

Selma bit back a laugh. Minny was funny. It was such a plus that their friendship had survived high school. Now they were working adults with good jobs and a decent social life. Well, Minny was the one who had a social life. In a few years, what would the next phase be? Marriage? Kids? Selma couldn't even think about it if she tried.

Selma lowered her voice. "Do you think...do you think he'll be The One?"

The One. They'd always talked about The One. A man who was worthy to be married to, a man who was by all means perfect and up to the standards. Loyal, hot, all of the above.

To Selma's surprise, Minny let out a laugh so loud that Selma had to put her phone down on the counter and hit speaker.

"Seriously? No. I don't know. I don't think so. Don't you think it's awkward to get married to someone you met on Tinder? I mean, come on, everyone's cheating on there." She laughed again. This time, it was a sour laugh. She continued, "But the first date went fine. A little bit excited for the second one, which is already in the works."

Selma poured her noodles into a strainer. "Mm, a second date? It's probably going to be on a private jet or something. Fly to a private island."

"Somehow, I should bring that up as an idea. But secretly!" Minny laughed until her voice changed into a mysterious tone. "But you haven't been seeing anyone?"

"Nice subject change." Selma suddenly felt a big black cloud of disappointment swelling in her stomach. Of course she wasn't. If she was, she would be yapping over the phone about it every day. "Work is my boyfriend."

"Don't be like that! Do you want to go get drinks somewhere this weekend?"

For being 23, Selma suddenly felt behind. She didn't like going out that much, she didn't really have a group of friends, and she didn't have anyone to be in love with. She didn't even have a pet, for Christ's sake! Not even a little goldfish.

"Maybe," she said. "My parents want to go visit my sister." Which was a complete lie.

"Oh," Minny said. She sounded disappointed. "Why don't you try Tinder?"

It was those five words that suddenly shifted Selma's perspective a bit. She hadn't really considered dating apps. She'd always assumed someone would take one look at her on the street, fall in love with her and take care of her the rest of her life. But that only happened in the movies, right?

"Okay, I gotta go," Minny said. "Just download it tonight, okay? Let me know what you think."

"Okay," Selma said, laughing. "You crazy girl. Okay, bye."

"Bye!" Minny said back. They hung up at the same time.

Selma finished making her dinner and brought it to her couch, sitting down in front of the TV. A reality show about twin sisters was playing. Selma paid it no mind.

She instead ate quietly, tuning into her thoughts. She thought about her life and where it was heading. Throughout her life, she had had a lot of crushes but not very many boyfriends. The last boyfriend she had was in sophomore year of high school. It ended when he moved away. The worst feeling of it all was when everyday they talked less and less until it dissipated completely.

After finishing her food, Selma set her empty bowl onto the coffee table and picked up her phone. Her sister hadn't answered any of her texts. She was too busy living her hectic life of being a first time mom. Selma sighed. Now the feeling of being behind was setting in.

Her phone dinged. Minny had sent a picture of her dinner, a fancy-looking plate of seafood. Hubby ordered it! Laughing emojis. Old-man emoji.

Selma sent back heart eyes and a banana emoji.

She clicked her phone off and leaned back into the couch pillows, focusing on the TV. The twin sister show had ended and now the nightly news had taken its place. A little boy saved from drowning, a restaurant fire, dogs up for adoption...

With a sudden burst of energy, Selma grabbed her phone, unlocked it and clicked on the App store. Within seconds Tinder was downloading.

I'm an idiot, Selma thought.

Her phone screen lit up with a notification that Tinder had been installed. The weather forecaster blared loudly in the background as Selma looked over the sign-up process.

She wanted to make a good impression. So she had to choose photos that looked great. Selma raked her eyes over her gallery. She didn't take pictures of herself that much.

She finally settled on two pictures. The first picture was a selfie in the sun. Her eyes looked like cute doe eyes and the sunlight filtered aesthetically through her dark hair. The second was a picture that Minny had taken. They had been gone to a fancy restaurant and Selma wanted her picture taken. She was sitting at the table, smiling with her hands held up to her face.

Selma reviewed her profile. Selma, 23. Hi! My name is Selma. I love eating out, being in the outdoors and meeting new people!

Was that too corny? Probably. She wanted to search up dating profile tips, but she decided that was too tryhard. She felt like she had too put more information, but she was at a loss. Oh, well. If someone did end up reaching out, she could keep a conversation going.

Now it was time to scour the dating app.

The first guy had humongous ears. Skip. The second guy was okay-looking, but his profile was a turn-off. He was a cocky gym dude. Skip. The third guy was hot. He had messy brown hair, an almost-perfect smile, and pretty eyes. Selma clicked through his photos. Mirror selfie, arm around friends, a picture of him on a hiking trail. Ty, 24. Swipe.

After a half hour of skipping and swiping, Selma got bored. Minny was right. Minny was always right. She wasn't going to find her perfect prince on a dating app. She had to go out and be social and be flirtatious and be the opposite of what she actually was. 

You're not going to find a husband if you sit in the house all day, the devil on her shoulder said. 

Selma sighed loudly and her face twisted into a frown. Whatever. At least she tried somewhat. Now she could finally sink into the couch and binge-watch pointless reality TV.

It was an hour later, when her finger was hovering over the Delete App button, when her phone buzzed with a message from Tinder.

r u a catfish? u look too good.