the wrong side of loneliness | completed

2

r u a catfish? u look too good.

Any feelings of sleep Selma had been feeling evaporated from her body completely. With a giddy grin, Selma snatched her phone and rushed to see who had sent her that teasing message.

Ty, 24. Online.

Her heartbeat sped up annoyingly. Ty! He was definitely hot and definitely her type. She wanted to giggle out loud. 

Like the idiot she was, she sent back, Yep. Ur catfish.

The bubbles that signaled he was typing popped up immediately. Selma wanted to throw her phone across her living room. What was she getting so excited for? She felt like a stupid high schooler. 

selma? that's a pretty name. 

how are you tonight?  ☻

Minny always told her to wait at least 5 minutes before texting a guy. And to never double or quadruple text, because that could make you look desperate. But they were 23 now. Those were cheesy high school rules, and Selma wanted to continue this conversation to see where it would lead...

Thank you. Selma let out the breath she had been holding. I like your name, too. Is it short for something?  Then, My night is going good. Just watching some TV. How about u? 

She put her phone down and took her dirty dishes to the counter and began to clean. She washed the day's dishes and scrubbed the counter down with a paper towel. Thoughts raced through her head. Yes, she could flirt. But she didn't really want to meet up. Selma decided she could play a game. After she finished, she dried her hands and walked back to the couch. Her phone was lighting up with texts, and she felt excitement surge through her.

ty. short for tyler. not really a cool name.

 and same. watching tv and also studying.

 gonna graduate with a criminal justice degree very very soon. 

let's learn more about each other

When you met someone in real life, weren't you supposed to feel the connection right away? That electric feeling, a thudding heartbeat, the blood rushing to your face...how were YOU supposed to feel it while texting someone? Maybe day after day, Selma would become attached to Ty and Ty attached to her...

No. She was really overthinking this. 

Selma typed quickly. What do you want to know? 

The bubbles appeared. everything. A kissy-face emoji. 

And so it started. Even though Selma had conflicting feelings about the whole thing. Like a devil and angel on her shoulder. 

Within the 3 hours they had been continuously talking, Selma had established that Ty had went to "River" High School, he worked as a customer service operator when he wasn't studying or taking tests, and he really really really liked going on hikes. And loved biking. He wanted to take Selma out one day on a trail. And to exercise together.

He learned that Selma was working on a psychology degree and worked at home reviewing products for different companies. Her favorite color was baby pink and she really liked Italian food. She hated public speaking and when she met new people, her ears turned red. 

Ty called her his dream girl and Selma told him that he might be The One. 

That was after a glass of wine. Selma didn't really believe it. Did she?

But it was getting late. Selma told him goodnight and he wished her the sweetest of dreams. Her face turned slightly red at that. But she didn't tell him so. 

His online status disappeared. Selma exited the app. 

She plugged her phone into her usual charging port and started getting ready for bed. Lighting her candles, washing her face and brushing her teeth and staring at herself in the mirror. All part of the nightly routine. But tonight was different. As she assessed herself, Selma wondered if change was needed. 

A haircut? Layers? Hmm. That would spice things up. A new ear piercing? Of course. A boob job? Maybe. She looked down. Definitely.

She finished putting on her face cream and went back to her bedroom, dimming the lights as she crossed the room. Selma snuggled into her pillows and reached for her laptop on the bedside table. 

A wave of loneliness washed over her. For a split second, Selma considered moving back in with her parents. Living in her own apartment was nice, but Selma missed human interaction. She missed her mom's cooking and the family dog. Living by herself was starting to get depressing.

Whatever. Maybe Ty would be a real person and rescue her from her own black hole of loneliness. 

Selma opened her laptop to Google. 

River High School. 

No results found. Selma scrolled through a couple websites and a few Facebook pages, but found nothing that matched with what Ty had said. Maybe he had given her a code name instead of the real high school he went to. That was kind of weird, but it was personal information. Was it?

She also had kind of lied. About what she did for work. She did review products on the side, but she did remote office work for her main job. 

As if on cue, her phone dinged. 

She picked it up. 

i know u are awake!  Laughing emojis. 

She sent back, Not funny, Ty. You're waking me up!

so i was thinking...

Why was she holding her breath again? 

maybe we can hang out tomorrow? eat something? italian? Three smiley faces. 

Tomorrow, Selma wanted to go get morning coffee and run errands. She wanted to get a manicure and pedicure. If she had extra time, maybe go to the mall and shop for clothes for when she had to go into the office. Or maybe eat lunch with Minny...

Her phone beeped. A string of question marks from Ty. 

Fuck it. She had plenty of shopping days in the future. She could show up to a first date without fresh nails on. It wasn't the end of the world. She wouldn't die because of something silly like that. 

But was she going to really meet someone from the internet? 

She looked at his pictures again. 

Safe enough.

Yes, she said back. Pick me up. Morning, tho. 10? 

And without a second thought, she sent the address to her apartment. 

Tyler went offline almost immediately. 

Her heartbeat slowed, then started to race. That was such a dumb thing to do! What if he showed up right now, complete with an ax and a garbage bag? 

10 minutes passed before he replied. okay

Just okay? Where was his energy before? Had she done something wrong? Okay, maybe she had moved a little too fast. Did that scare him? Or what? Her fingers moved toward the keyboard then moved away. 

She closed out the app, put it back on the charger and closed her laptop. She pulled the covers over herself and settled into her usual sleeping position.

Selma knew there would be little sleep tonight. There would be a lot of tossing and turning. Everything was happening so fast. From Minny going on her first date with someone from Tinder and now Selma would maybe experience the same thing. 

Her brain spun and imagined her first date from nearly 50 different angles. A date in the park, a romantic dinner, a scuba diving date...

She drifted into sleep imagining all the different things that would never happen. At least to her, anyways.