Judes POV
I know 11:11 wishes aren't real. It's just a time, just like 11:10 or 11:12. But making that wish last night, something changed. I feel it.
I get ready for school, and for the first time in a while, I'm happy. I feel good about myself. I have a smile, a real one. And I'm ready to take on the world. That is, until I see him.
Connor Stevens. He makes me feel something, that I've never felt before. I can't explain it, but when I see him, I get butterflies and nausea. I'm not sure what it is, but I kind of like it. Being moved around I've never had the chance to really know which gender I'm attracted to. I just figured I like who I like and that's all there is to it. We shouldn't go around labelling people, and putting them in boxes, like they're some junk at a yard sale.
Looking at him, I realized that he's who I'm trying to impress. He's why I'm wondering what could be different in my life. He's why I need the confidence. He's what will make me truly happy. Until that confidences comes, I'll be miserable.
We're best friends. We hang out, we talk, we laugh. On the outside, I'm having fun, enjoying the moment, but on the inside, I'm wishing I could just stand up and tell Connor how I feel. Every moment with him is torture because I want it to be more, and I know, if he figures out, these moments may stop. I cannot have that, so I keep it in, wondering how long I'll have to keep this up until I go crazy.
