Killua x reader oneshots!

Lost happiness 🥀🌹

TW: Depression, Self harm, bullying

They/them

Your POV..
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I feel numb, nothing can bring me happiness anymore. As I became quieter at school people started to suspect things, what things you ask? I have no idea. For some reason people think it's okay to target one person and let all of their emotions out on them. The bullying was to much to add on top of all my other problems, and I needed a way to let myself go. I needed that..

Satisfaction.

I burned, cut, scratched, anything I could get my hands on. All of it sent my body a sense of relief, the physical aspect of watching myself bleed or scar up was the only thing that let me scream, that let my emotions go.
These were the thoughts running through my mind right then, being cornered by a couple of people my age. I was trying to avoid school by going to heavens arena and watch the fights, but of course, they just had to be here. There was 6-7 of them, they traveled in groups, and were known as the "bad boys." Its not like they physically bullied me, but a few comments in the hall (every single day) had become normal for them. I was sure they would get violent one day, today was that day. I stood a fighting chance against most of them one on one, but they were together, all of them. They approached me, calmly, slowly. I stood with my hands it my pockets, trying not to show the fact that I was trembling. The leader of the group, Hayahsi Yamaguchi, stepped over to me and got nice and close to my face.
"Lucky seeing you here, isn't it Y/N?" He falsely smiled and booped my nose
"Why don't you you pay our entry fees, huh?" He put his hand on my head And fidgeted with my hair.
"You see, we're a little low on cash and need some spare change." He moved his hand down to my shoulder
"I spent my 'spare' money on tickets, I can't pay for it" I murmured.
"Is that so.." he squeezed my shoulder roughly, then pushed me to the ground.
"Listen up. Your going to pay our fees or, you can pay with your v-card." The boys chuckled.

What...?

my stomach dropped, I thought about what would happen, the worst possibilities.
"I- I can only cover half. Once I get more I can pay the rest." You stumbled on your words.
"Fine I guess that will do." Hayashi sighed,
"Meet us at the front, and if you don't, well.. you know." He grinned.

I hurried over to the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do. I didn't have the money for this and I really needed a way out. I sat down on the back of a toilet and closed the stall door.
1
2
3
4
5..
I started to count, your okay Y/N. Your okay. I shakily pulled out a blade, one that my father got me when I was younger. I glanced at it, made sure it was clean, then pulled up my sleeves. I slid the knife across my arm and watched as the blood spilled. Crimson adrenaline poured out of my veins making me wince.
1
2
3
4...
16...
24..
38..
"Uh— is someone using the bathroom?" startled at the knocking, i dropped the knife on the ground
"Y-yeah- sorry! I'll be out in a moment." I quickly washed my arms off and opened the door. Walking past a white haired boy I stopped.
"Are you.. killua?" I questioned.
"Yeah, that's me." He smiled
"I'm watching your fight tonight. Good luck!" Then I hurried off.

A couple of hours later I headed to the front with my money in hand.
"Look who finally arrived." Yamaguchi patted my head and smiled widely.
"Thanks for coming, but I've decided I want you to pay for the whole fee." My eyes widened as I began shaking.
"I- I told you guys I don't have the money. We-we made a deal!" I stepped back.
"I-I-I-I-I-I t-t-t-told y—ou g-g-g- uys! Hahah! You think we give a shit?" Yamaguchi pushed me into a wall, the reached for the zipper on my pants.
"Well, I suppose if you can't pay.." he smiled pervertedly.
"Hey! Don't.. please!" I punched him in the face, causing him to kick me in the stomach.

"Hey!"

A voice could be heard in the distance, a male, no where to be seen. Suddenly he appeared out of no where, dropping everyone with a single tap of the neck. All still being conscious, but unable to move.
"Are you okay?" It was killua, he apparently saw what was happening.
"Y-yeah I'm fi—" suddenly my stomach started pulsating, cause me to cough blood. I gripped my side and winced. Killua quickly picked me up and brought me to his room. After being swiftly carried through the halls, he placed me on his bed.
"Is it okay if i lift your shirt up a little to check your wound?" I nodded, unable to speak. He lifted the cloth up and examined it.
"Do you know if he was a nen user? It looks like a strong kick, your stomach is bruised and has possible internally bleeding." He brushed his finget across it, causing me to flinch.
"Either way, your obviously hurt so I'll go grab some bandages." I sat up, and worriedly gripped my stomach. I took off my shirt, having a small undershirt beneath it. Killua walked back into the room with bandages began to wrap them around me.
"Why are you helping me?" I stated. His eyes softened and he smiled slightly.
"I.." he began.
"I'm not sure." He grabbed a close pin, and attached it to the bandage. He looked at my freshly cut arms and frowned. He softly grabbed my left hand and looked at my wrist.
"Why?" He pulled out a few bandaids and placed them on my arm. Killua did the same on my right.
"I was in this place at one point as well, and as hard as it may seem, self harming is not the solution. There has to be a reason why, and I'm here to listen and help you, even if we don't know eachother." I sighed.
"Well," I pressed my hand on my thigh.

"I lost the happiness I never had to start."

A/N:
So this one was really weird and didn't exactly fit the comfort section. Uhh let me know if you guys have any suggestions and if you liked it.