Familiarity ||| Jacaerys Velaryon

forty-five

Alyssa had never had so many people touch her without her permission than she did at the feast. Apparently, pregnancy meant that the nobility were free to touch Alyssa's belly when they pleased.

She hated that. And she also hated the fact that some people, men, mostly, treated her like a vessel. Something only carrying the future heir. That it became her only purpose, her only worth.

How was the babe? It was definitely going to be a boy, another king, of course. Any women who were worthwhile delivered boys first. Then they'd turn and talk to Jace and leave Alyssa out of the conversation completely.

The feast wasn't exactly enjoyable. Because while those particular men might've been few and far between, it stuck with Alyssa. Needled at the edge of her mind. It also reignited that fear in Alyssa. After the feast, when she was supposed to be resting, that was all she could think about. Laena. The terror of that night when she died.

She had no control over it. Her body simply would not get the baby out. It happened.

Alyssa's namesake died after labouring. Her late aunt the same. She was surrounded by women who died during labour and she was heading for that same experience terrified it would happen to her too. Alyssa was unbothered by a lot of things but not that.

There was a period after they returned that Alyssa stayed in her chambers for many days. She left for meals, for important things, but tucked herself away otherwise. Alyssa hasn't even been out to greet her dragon and that was unusual.

Then she didn't have to deal with everything. The looks and the comments and the touching. It was hard to digest being pregnant for the first time and not being able to gradually adjust.

Jace knew something was wrong but he couldn't get Alyssa to tell him what. She didn't want him to know she was afraid. He theorized that it was fear but Alyssa wouldn't tell him; she insisted she was just tired.

Daemon was the only one Alyssa trusted enough, the only one who knew how truly terrified Alyssa was. He knew the night Laena died was still present in her mind. She was old enough to remember it all.

She had that same fear Rhaenyra had. Both before she was pregnant and during her first.

He went to Alyssa determined to rid her of the fear that kept her in her chambers. She didn't deserve to forsake the best parts of her life because she was afraid of the outcome.

"Your sisters are starting to get worried," he said as soon as he walked in, looking at Alyssa, who was reading at her desk. "As is your husband. And your father."

"I'm supposed to be resting," Alyssa excused, avoiding eye contact with her father at first.

It was only a look Daemon gave her. He knew her far better than that.

Alyssa sighed and sat back. Daemon pulled a seat up to sit across from her, opening himself to listen to her plight.

"Resting does not mean avoiding the people that care for you."

She bit her cheek and closed her eyes, a hand absentmindedly resting on the child growing within her.

"I'm frightened."