debut • harry styles

011

NERVES
8.7.2022

my one night only is tonight and i'm extremely nervous. i just arrived at the troubadour, and it's all becoming real.

i rehearsed the set list, which is the album front to back, my cover with harry along with just for a moment which is unreleased. then to close out the show, i'll sing a cover of new year's day by taylor. billie and finneas agreed to sing their respective songs with me.

i don't have an opener for the show, which was fine because i put together a great pre show playlist that will be played.

doors open at 6, and the show starts at 8. i have a little merch stand too, it has a shirt, hoodie, tote bag, and poster.

i didn't want to put too much just in case people didn't want merch.

~

"what if no one shows up?" i say. "what if they just bought tickets because they were cheap? maybe i did this too soon, because even if people show up, they won't even know the words, i should cancel it."

"belle." he says putting his hands on either of my shoulders to calm me down. he lightly rubs my shoulders with his thumb as he speaks. i know this is supposed to calm me down, but it's making me even more nervous.

why am i feeling like this? we are just friends.

"everything's going to be alright." harry says. "i know it will all work out, ok?"

"but what if no one shows up?" i ask.

"then i'll be in the audience by myself singing every word to that album." harry says.

"i doubt that it will come to that though, love. everything's going to be fine, and i promise you that once you get on that stage, all your nerves will go away." harry states.

"doors opened about a half an hour ago, and there is a tv in your green room." harry says. where is he going with this? "what i like to do is watch people on the tv once they get here, it's quite fun and eases my nerves."

"okay," i say, it sounds like a good idea. i love people watching, pun intended.

harry guides me to my green room, his hand on the small of my back the way there. the door has my name on it, and once i open it, i was a bit surprised.

i'm not really sure what a green room is supposed to look like, but i didn't think it would look like this.

i thought it would look more green, i guess? i don't know why i expected to see only the color green.

i see my outfit i'm wearing hanging on the rack on the left side of the room. i sit down on the couch, and harry takes a seat in the arm chair.

"look," harry said motioning to the tv. "look at how many people are already here."

he's right, about 20 people were here already and honestly, that's enough for me. even if no one else shows up, at least these people did.

i was looking on the tv and i noticed that gracelyn is here. the fan that i met at harry's show in paris.

"do you see the girl at the front with bubble braids?" i ask harry, he looks for a second then nods. "i met her when i was in paris, the first fan of mine i've ever met."

"what's her name?" harry asks looking over at me for a split second.

"gracelyn," i say. "i actually met her at your show in paris."

"stealing my fans away from me, belle?" harry says jokingly.

"you'll live, harry, i promise." i say. "you have millions of other people who would marry you given the chance."

harry and i watched the place fill up a little bit more, it shocked me how many people actually showed up.

since i have to go on in an hour, i started getting ready. lea offered me a makeup team and stuff, but i wanted to take the time to myself and do it alone.

i started with my makeup, keeping it fairly simple and giving myself some light pink eyeshadow to match the dress i will be wearing.

for my hair, i curl it slightly. i leave my curtain bangs out to frame my face but bring my hair into a half up, half down style.

i have a pink satin bow to put on the hair tie to pull the outfit together. i decide i should put it on once i finish getting dressed.

i put the fishnets on, then the pink dress, careful not to mess up the flowers or anything. i put on the matching gloves and take a look in the mirror.

i put on the pink shoes and ruffle socks that harris suggest should go with it. i go on in about 10 minutes, but i feel like i'm missing something.

then i remember the bow. i can't put it on by myself, so i peak my head out of the door to see if someone can help me with it.

i see a bunch of stage crew and managers running around, so they seem too busy. i don't see any of my friends either.

i turn my head so i can see to the right, and i see harry standing there. he's changed into the outfit he's going to be wearing on stage, which is a pink suit with flowers on the chest.

"hey, harry." i say, he turns his head in my direction. "can you help me with something?"

he nods and pushes himself off of the wall he was leaning against. he comes into the dressing room and i hold out the bow.

he takes it ties it in my hair. i can see him do it through the mirror, and he has a very serious concentration face on, it looks kind of cute.

not attractive cute, but i'm not saying that he's not attractive, i'm just saying, nevermind. we are just friends.

"there you go," harry says putting his hands by his sides. "you look beautiful, belle."

"thank you, harry." i say. i hear a knock on the door, lea opens it.

"you're on in 5." she says. i make my towards the door.

"wish me luck." i say to harry.

"you won't need it." he says as i walk out of the door.

lea directs me to side stage, as i watch my introduction. it's a bunch of people, mainly couples, doing couple things.

like getting lunch together, going to the movies, sharing a milkshake while an extending intro of people watching plays.

i peak around the side of the stage and see the crowd, there's so many people, it's completely packed.

i put my ear piece into my ear and wait for my cue.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

qotd:

kiss, marry, kill:

harry styles, joe burrow, michael b. jordan