Jazzy and Sick often (A journal) : The end?

short and hurt

6th February 2023
       ~Ileria

Me and Zileria are sitting in a broken car opposite the school discussing something important and Andrew is again and again interrupting between us. He takes my phone to call Ashley for an unknown reason but returns it back to me.

The very same time my mother calls me and she is sounding damn irritated on me. She is shouting on top of her voice "there's this big drama happening here and you are roaming here and there". I have to place my phone a bit away from my ears. It is so loud that both Andrew and Zileria could hear her.

I jump of that car and because of it being broken and a stone in between I fell down when Sam said  “We surely belong to God and to Him we shall return”(used when a person experiences a tragedy in life, mostly used when hearing news that a person has died). Adam, Andrew and others gather around me. Even though I've fallen and I can't get up I tell them to stop a cab quickly. Zileria comes with me too. She is continously checking on my leg. My mom has called me more than 5 times.

When I reach home, I hide my leg not wanting to tell her about my wound. She is all red with anger when she's shouting at me saying "you've not given your test properly and aunt Shawn has told me that she's not going to further teach you."
"In which test did I not score?"
"The one on 1st February".

I close my eyes painfully. "Now I've asked her to give you time and you will give the full portion test this Friday".

"Mumma my MUN is starting from tomorrow, I won't be able to practice."

"You should've thought about that before 1st February, I did tell you a thousands of times but you didn't even look at me, I don't know with whom were you so busy. I want you to delete your Instagram account right now and start practicing. After you come from tutions, have food and then the moment I come I want to see you studying."

I wish I could tell her that I wasn't busy, I was knowing about the new daily facts about the person I love. But the only thing keeping me quiet is, I don't want her to think that her daughter is weak.

I go to tutions and the moment I come home, without eating or even changing my clothes I make Adam's position paper. The time which I had to use to eat food, I used that for him. This is the last time I'm doing something for him that too only because I've said that I'll make it and I don't like to break promises. Andrew calls me asking to make a position paper for him too. I say okay just because he agrees on my condition that he would send Adam's position paper to him.

In the mean while mumma comes home and I start practicing. 
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The next day I didn't even get a thank you from him which I deserved. Everyone is making fun of Sam who said "We surely belong to God and to Him we shall return”.
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8th February 2023
       ~Ileria

While everyone's clicking pictures in formal fits, I and Daisy are tiring because our throats are all swore saying "maintain discipline".