Our Dynasty | tk.

0 | under the influence | 0

As I sit alone in the massive dining room, curtains ajar and the windows barely open to let some current in the room, I think about what made me commit to marrying a man I can't stand, a man I vaguely remember ever being nice to me. Is this what my parents wanted? For me to suffer an arranged marriage with a man, I've never met before? All because they're broke? Did they even care about my happiness? No matter how I look at it, the damage is done. 

I push myself away from the table and dabble my lips with the napkin across my leg. I excuse myself from the table, bow slightly to the servants in the room, and head to my chamber. Jungkook and I decided it would be best to have separate rooms for our different lives; I couldn't agree more—that was the only time we ever agreed on something. 

And as I enter my room, pull off my socks, and snuggle into my bed, I can't help but think about Jin; he was my first crush. Jin and I never admitted to ourselves that we liked each other, but we did stuff not regular friends do. Like, kissing each other, holding hands, "going out"...it was a weird time but also wonderful. Seokjin made me feel valid, special...loved; meanwhile, he's at home doing god knows what; I'm in an empty room waiting for my husband to arrive. 

"I need your love before I fall...fall," I sing to myself as the memory of Jin's touch appears in my head, my heart fluttering at the magnificent moment. I wish he were here, holding me tight. 

Suddenly, I hear a door slam from downstairs. I rolled my eyes because I knew who had arrived: my drunken husband. Jungkook and I made a deal that whoever gets drunk takes the other one to their room to ensure they don't drink anymore, hurt themselves, or knock something important. So, there I go, ready to link arms with my lovely husband, Jeon Jungkook. 

Once downstairs, I see him slung against the small dresser by the entrance, trying hard to regain his balance as he breathes heavily. I look at one of the guards and nod to let him know I will take it from there. 

As I approach, he brings his heavy head towards the crook of my shoulder and wraps his strong arms around my neck, almost making my back crack from the massive weight on my shoulders—quite literally. He doesn't say a word to me; all he does is cooperate with me as I guide him toward the stairs that soon lead to his chamber. 

"How many drinks did you drink this time?" I say with annoyance. Nine times out of ten, he's drunk out of his mind while I care for him—such bullshit. 

"...f-fourteen?" he responds. I chuckle at how ungodly the amount of alcohol is in his system. Is he so depressed about this marriage that he has to drink his frustration away? We haven't been on the best of terms, but even this shit is crazy for me. 

I whisper a thank you to myself as I see Jungkook's door a few steps away. I must admit, even though he's a pain in the ass, rude and egotistical, he's hot and super handsome. Any gal would die for a man like Jungkook, but unless he divorces me, he won't get laid unless he slips a couple of hun to the guards to stay silent; his mother watches him like a hawk—both of us. 

I kick open the door and drag his body further before unwrapping his arms around my shoulders and tossing him onto his bed. Then, I unzipped his black platform boots to throw them aside while I ripped off his socks and jacket. I grunt when Jungkook doesn't cooperate with me. 

"Damn it, Jungkook. For the love of Pete's sake, stop fucking moving!" I yell at the boy, who pouts after turning on his back. I sigh heavily before tossing his socks at his face and storming out of the room. 

"Taehyung..." he calls out to me. I fist my hands to my sides and blow out a long sigh to turn around and give him the benefit of the doubt that he is under the influence and that I shouldn't get mad at him for not letting me help him. 

I hum as I make my way over to him. He gestures for me to sit next to him on the bed, which I do—a dog obeying his owner—and watch as he gets up slowly. He looks at me with a dominance smile, a gesture I've yet to come across. Jungkook reaches out for my hair falling over my eyes, and leans closer. 

"Your hair is dark as the night sky, and your eyes are the stars in your galaxy," Jungkook says as he leaves my strand of hair to place his hand on my cheek, his thumb rubbing the surface ever so lightly. "You're beautiful, Kim Taehyung," he finishes before closing his eyelids as his head leans in and lays on my shoulder. 

Once again, I sit in a bed, technically alone, with my thoughts. My heart was racing, my eyes were widening, and my palms were sweating. I look over at Jungkook and notice his cheeks bloating before he lets out a long sigh. The moment hit me, the words sunk in, and my stomach turned into a knot. Why would he say that to me after not saying anything remotely affectionate after being married to me for one year? This is the first time he has acknowledged me...Who am I kidding? Myself. He's drunk, probably vulnerable, and depressed. He doesn't mean what he says. 

I take in a deep breath before putting my priorities straight. Jungkook and I only agreed to this marriage because our parents forced us. No romantic strings are attached to us; we are two males living together. That's all, and that's all it will ever be. He and I will never love each other. 

I slowly move to the side to use both my hands to grab onto his head and gently rest it on the pillow. I imagine how peaceful he looks, his hair dripping sweat from all the shit he pulled at the pub—how his toothy smile hides behind his plump, well-formed lips that are ajar to let the air in and out. How perfectly sculpted his face is...oh, how I wish he could be mine. 

I finish taking off his clothes and leaving him only in his boxers. I thought about getting him a t-shirt, but staring blankly at his abs in the night with red across my cheeks, felt right. I pulled the duvet covers over him and pushed his hair back to avoid his hair bothering him. 

And so, I leave his room, closing the door behind me. As I walk to my chamber, I stumble towards the wall and grip my hand over my heart, tightening my grasp at the shirt I wear. The thought of Jungkook ever noticing me made me think of hope. But, as I said, he'll never fall in love with me because his mind is only set on girls. 

"...I just want to be happier; am I being too greedy?..." I sing to myself with weld-up eyes from feeling so lonely and hopeless as I walk into my room, close the door and get into the sheets, ready to call it a night. 

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