Betrothed |h.s|

nine

Jane

Slipping away from the opulent crowds and my husband to be, I find a terrace that overlooks the garden, it's quiet and peaceful. The music from the lavish party inside is almost inaudible, giving me some space to think. Outside, the sky is full of stars and the moon is full and bright, not a cloud in sight.

The fresh air fills my lungs and the soft breeze tickles my bare arms. Leaning against the balcony, I close my eyes and take a deep breath in. As I breathe out, I do my best to expel any negative feelings from my body. I repeat this a few times until I feel better.

I needed a break from all the commotion inside. The stress of having to be the essence of perfection, perched on the arm of one of the richest men in the room. Every single thing about me is studied, from the way my hair is done up to the gown I wear. It's just exhausting.

My heart yearns for home. For the tiny cottage off the property of Hartling. The big old oak tree, the creek, and the gorgeous meadow. All the little white flowers that so often would adorn my hair. I'd give anything to spend one more day laying in that lush grass, letting the sun warm my skin. Or to sit on my little chair by the window, reading my favorite books.

Instead, I am at another social event, all dressed up to put on an act. I am holding the arm of another while I watch the man I almost ran away with dance and flirt with the other girls of society. A foolish voice in my head once thought maybe he came to London for me, but now I fear the reality of everything has truly set in. He is to marry another, just as I asked him to.

Only, I do not think he's honoring the promise he made to me. His eyes have yet to meet mine tonight, even though he knows full well that I am here. It stings to know that he will not fight for me.

Harry is an incredible dancer. He is light on his feet and so graceful with every move. I wish I could dance with him, let him lead me across the floor with such ease. We never danced together, and suddenly I feel a pit of regret form in my stomach. I truly never knew him at all.

I savor my time alone, not ready to rejoin the festivities yet. Not ready to watch Harry with yet another woman. It is selfish of me to feel such jealousy, but I just can't help it. Two weeks ago we were wrapped up in each other's arms. Now it is as if we're strangers.

As I look down at the garden, studying the different flowers and topiaries, someone clears their throat behind me. I turn quickly, expecting Thomas or the Duke to be there so they could escort me back inside. Only I'm met with the man I desire most.

Our first moment alone since our last night in our cottage. So many unspoken words hang in the space between us as we just stare at each other, unsure how to even begin. What do you say to the man you never thought you'd see again?

My heart pounds the longer he looks at me. There's a sort of confusion present in his eyes. As if he has no idea why he's out here with me. Why he commanded my attention just now instead of slipping back into the crowds undetected.

I squeeze my fan tight between my hands, holding onto it as if it's some form of life line. When he has trouble finding his words, I speak up for him. "You cut your hair..." My voice is quiet, gentle, a little timid.

His eyes sadden ever so slightly as he looks toward the ground beneath us. "Yes, um, I did..."

"It looks nice. Different." I compliment, not quite sure what else to say.

He doesn't dare look at me. "Thank you."

I nod slightly, feeling my heart break with every passing second. Conversation was never this hard for us. I was never scared to speak to him, not even when he showed up to the cottage on that first day. Now it is as if we're strangers. As if he's never seen me before in his life. As if he didn't beg me to run away with him.