"starlit nights, lonely, just because you aren't around"

"it's hard, but you'll be okay."

It was often said by Tecchou to Jouno, that everything would be alright, but now there was no Jouno to tell him that. He longed to hear the words of his deceased lover, even if it was of him swearing to Tecchou to shut up, or criticising Tecchou. He just wanted to hear him, wanted to have him in his embrace again. He well-knew that this could never happen. No one seemed to care for the suffering Tecchou, aside from Teruko. However, Teruko could not take time off of work, and all she could do to help Tecchou was to do his share of paperwork. The loss of the Hunting Dog's strongest swordsman impacted the amount of time the hands-on work took, but everyone just let him be. They all let him grieve over someone long gone.

"How did I not hear that helicopter..?! I've been so useless lately, it's so... agh!" Jouno raged, throwing a shit ton of things on the floor. "Saigiku.? Are you okay?" Tecchou asked, very gently and softly. The tone of his words seemed to have an effect on the man, and he ceased to throw things, afraid he would injure his partner. "Well, clearly not?" Jouno furrowed his eyebrows as Tecchou chuckled a bit. Tecchou moved forward, from being in front of Jouno to hugging him, being in a very close proximity with the ombre-haired (i swear i cannot find anything to describe his hair) man. "It's not very normal for you to feel unnecessary, so it'll be hard for you. But don't worry, everything will be okay." "Is this how you feel every time I say you're unimportant..?" Tecchou thought for a while before answering. "Similarly." And that was the first time, as work partners only, that Tecchou saw Jouno in such a vulnerable state. It hurt his heart to see his crush that way, as Jouno quivered under Tecchou's touch. "I'm sorry, Suehiro..!" Tecchou smiled fondly and said, "It's okay, now rest."

Thinking back on the memory, Tecchou shuddered, as the tears he thought he had none of left came back to him, burning his eyes and staining his cheeks once more. Oh how his heart hurt, and he felt helpless. "..Suehiro." a voice that he heard very rarely spoke his name, causing him to flinch slightly. But his emotions were too shrouded around Jouno's death, he couldn't even flinch properly. "Tachihara Michizou. What brings you here." Tecchou asked in a scarily monotonous voice, scaring even Tachihara. "....A-ah, yes. Um, Commander and Teruko sent me to check up on you. Honestly just Teruko, since Commander just wants you to do your paperwork...*sigh*, how are you coping.?" "Clearly not well", he wanted to say, but Tachihara was just trying to help. "..." Tecchou stayed silent, choosing to ignore him for a while. 

"Saigiku?" Tecchou asked, hesitant. Jouno was clearly mad at him, and he didn't want to irk his anger more. However, Jouno didn't say anything, ignoring Tecchou was best, he assumed. "..." Tecchou sat beside Jouno on the bed, just silent. Soon after, Jouno leaned towards Tecchou, one hand on his chest and another one hugging him from behind. Tecchou giggled quietly, hugging him back. Tecchou made his breathing extremely softer, so that Jouno could rest peacefully. "Mmh.." Jouno yawned, like a cute little cat. A few minutes later, Jouno was fast asleep, snoring softly with his mouth hung open slightly, a rare sight for even Tecchou.

His daydreaming, however, took a long time, and by the time he came back to his senses, Tachihara was gone. He left a note, though. It said, "I had to go. Sorry, hope you feel better soon." And just like that, Tecchou was whisked to yet another memory.

It was a bit after Tecchou's cat's (PRETEND 👹) death, and Tecchou was really sad. "Come on, Tecchou! Stop being so angsty!" Never had Jouno seen Tecchou so sad and angry before. "You don't understand..! You never did and you never will, I.. I need some time..! Leave me alone.." Tecchou had tears in the shape of pearls rolling down his cheeks. He knew he had taken it too hard on Jouno, since Jouno was a very sensitive person. "Tecchou, I..." Jouno trailed off at the end of his sentence, feeling miserable for both himself and Tecchou. 

After an hour or two, Tecchou came back to Jouno and cried in the nape of his neck. Jouno gasped at the skin contact and blushed, while Tecchou mumbled apologies. "Suehiro, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so insensitive... I know your cat must have been very dear to you." "Noo, I'm sorry." They forgave each other easily and kissed and made up (KSKSKSJSKSJSKJS ILYT❤️) 

That was one of the very few times that Jouno was sorry about anything. He was great at making decisions and such, so there was hardly any need for him to apologise. He was just feeling lonely at the time. 'Saigiku...'

Life was a curse to Tecchou, being unable to be with your loved ones was a fear Tecchou never knew he had until Jouno passed. He hadn't said enough "I love you"s and he never showed Jouno enough affection. He could've gave Jouno the life he wanted, could've given the pretty genius that there's more to life besides fighting. If only he had known that Jouno would've died so young. But he's free now, free from the cage we call life. "Darling, I wish I knew." Tecchou whispered, touching the stone cold slate in front of him, wishing that it was warm, just like Jouno's hands before he was slaughtered. 

A/N:

jouno offered to be a part of the hunting dogs since the family wouldnt want him to be the heir of the throne and so he became a hunting doggy woof woof hope that clears up any questions u might have <3 this is a specially long chapter so i'll be making a special chapter that was inspired by what my band conductor said lmaoo :D have a good day ><