Lust Has No Mercy [COMPLETED]

eighteen

eighteen

Days passed, Travis and I got closer. Walang nangyari sa amin dahil dumating nga 'yung period ko. I laughed dahil lagi niyang pinipigilan ang sarili niya. Ang cute lang.

He got busy with work pero paminsan naman ay hindi siya pumapasok dahil he wants to be with me. Kinilig naman ako ng todo dahil sa kanya. Araw-araw lagi ako walang magawa sa malaking bahay ni Travis. He bought me a phone. Iphone pa.
Lagi akong walang magawa dito sa bahay. Lagi nalang kain, tulog, internet, at manuod ng tv. Nakakaumay na dahil wala akong kausap.

I declined at first to have a phone but he said he gave me a phone to contact me anytime and whenever he misses me. And I could contact Miranda. Binigay niya sa akin ang lumang sim ko na binili ko after nung naglayas ako sa amin. Gusto kong mawala muna ang contact ng parents ko sa akin. Pagtingin ko ay wala na ang mga number ng nga kaibigan ko. Only him.

"MIRANDA!!" bungad ko kay Miranda sa cellphone. I memorize her number, of course.

"ALEX?!!!!"

Bahagya kong inilayo sa kanya ang phone sa lakas ng boses niya.

"Hi! How are you?" Oh, I miss this girl. Pero mukhang hindi siya nag-aalala? Hindi niya ba alam na nawala ako at kinidnap ako ng boss ko?

"Good. Ikaw ba? Kamusta ka? Your boss said that you'll be gone for a few weeks for a business trip,"

Oh...

Ang akala niya ay nasa business trip ako, pero wala. I'm only on a trip. Not business trip. I'm here for a vacation, as what Travis and I agreed.

But I don't want to say that her. Ayaw kong mag-alala pa siya. Mabuti nalang na sinabi niyang nasa business trip. Atleast, she will not get worried.

"I am better than ever, Mir. I'm having a good time here," I smiled.

She bid goodbye kasi may pupuntahan pa raw siya. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasang isipin ang sinabi sa akin ni Travis na huwag raw ako makikipag-usap sa kahit sinong lalaki sa phone. He was being possessive again. He would check my phone every night.

Nakakakilig si Travis minsan dahil sa pagiging possessive. I wonder what he feels for me. Alam ko ang pinapahiwatig niya at ako naman ay nahuhulog ng paunti-unti at umaasa.
I feel like he likes me. Pero baka feel ko lag yun? Ugh.

It is my first time to feel this way. I don't know if this is only a crush, infatuation, like, or love. Hindi ko alam. Shit. Nalilito ang isip at puso ko.

His words makes me feel giddy and butterflies. His actions makes me feel loved. His touch gives me chills and warm at the same time. He makes me feel secured and protected. I keep on thinking about him. I can't sleep when he's not around. He makes me happy. All the time. Without even trying.

Is this love?

"Hey," napalingon ako nang bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto niya. Tambay ako sa kwarta niya but he doesn't mind at all. In fact, he likes it when I'm on his bed. Especially naked.

"Travis!" I greeted back then stood up to hug him. I didn't even know why I did that. I just realized it. I just missed him.

I wad shocked when he kissed my lips hard and I can't help to kiss him back. Tinulak ko siya ng marahan.

"I miss you, baby," malambing niyang sabi.
He grinned at nagbihis ng pajamas. Wala siyang pang-itaas.

Para kaming mag-asawa. Kinikilig ako! Grabe! Para akong asawa niya na naghihintay sa kanya galing sa trabaho. My heart flutters at the thought.

He jumped to the bed and he pulled me closer to him.

"What did you do today?" he asked and kissed the tip of my nose. It feels amazing to know that someone cares for me.

"Nothing. I did nothing all day."

"If you're bored, just kiss me," nararamdaman ko ang mainit na hininga niya sa buhok ko. So I did planted a kiss on his mouth.

Ginawa kong unan ang braso niya. I slowly traced circles on his chest. "If I say I don't miss you, would you believe me?"

"I won't believe you. I know you miss me," Even though I can't see him, I could feel him smirk. He knows me too well.

I did not answer anymore. Wala ng nagsalita sa amin. We just let each other listen to our breathings and let our mind slip somewhere. I wonder what he's thinking right now? I want to confess to him, but I'm afraid he doesn't feel the same way. Masasaktan lang ako at mapahiya.

Sa sobrang pag-iisip ko ay bumibigat na ang talukap ng mga mata ko hanggang sa nakatulog ako sa bisig ni Travis.

-

Nagising ako nang may naririnig akong vibration and ringing. I moaned as I slowly look up what it was, trying not to disturb Travis' peacefully sleeping beside me.

It is Travis' phone. It only beeped once so I think there's someone texting him.

Without totally knowing what I'm doing, I slowly moved my arms out of Travis' embrace to look who's texting him. I just want to know who is texting him so early in the morning. Oh, it's not early. It's already 11AM.

Wait, is this me?

I think it's a stolen shot of me on his lockscreen wallpaper. Fuck, he took a picture of me when we were on the beach. It is when I was walking out of the water at papunta ako sa kanya n'un. Ninja moves, eh? I blushed.

Bea Daniella

Who is this Bea?

I unlock his phone and thankfully, walang passcode ang phone niya. I fished on his messages and opened the recent text from Bea.

Hey, Travis! I'm going to back to ph. Mind if you come fetch me from the airport? I miss you so much!

Who is she? Is she one of Travis' flings and women? Did she spent nights with him before? Is she and Travis close friends? Is she Travis' ex? Or maybe his fling who became close friends with?

Fuck. There are so many question marks in my head and I don't even know the answer to it. I can't help but to feel jealous.

Ito na nga ang sinasabi ko. Wala lang ako kay Travis. For him I'm just one of his girls na lumiligaya sa kanya sa kama. Kapag tapos na, iiwanan. But I don't want him to leave me. But at the same time, gusto ko ng pakawalan niya ako dahil nasasaktan ako. Hindi ba niya alam na nasasaktan at umaasa ako sa kanya?

His actions just tell me something. At hindi ako tanga para hindi makita iyon. Pero paano nalang kung iba ang lumabas sa bibig niya?

Action speaks louder than words, right? But what if... he'll say that he doesn't love me like I love him? Like he's just naturally sweet to me or to other people, pero ang totoo ay wala pala siyang nararamdaman sa akin? I don't think I can handle the pain.

Binalik ko ang phone niya sa side table na mabigat ang dibdib ko. Agad kong inalis ang braso niya sa akin at pumasok ng banyo para maligo.

I felt tears flow down my cheeks as the cold water ran down my body.

Everybody's at war with different things. But I'm having a war with my own heart and mind.

-

hay ewan ko kay lily hahahaha

june 1 tomorrow *sobs :(