From autumn to you

what it takes

The second time Aayan came to the shop, it was still nighttime, but it wasn't raining. And this time, he didn't just lie down outside, no, he entered with a huge beaming smile and asked in a cheerful voice if we had apple candies that don't crack under the teeth. I was tired from my day and didn't feel like chatting. School, then work, it wasn't a good routine.

It was necessary to balance between all the stages of life at only seventeen years old. I didn't have the strength or energy for it. And this man seemed very eager to start a conversation.
I hadn't even looked up, I continued reading my newspaper and pointed to the candy display in the small shop, which was at the back of the store. The young man kept that innocent and joyful smile, revealing his teeth. "Thank you!" He almost jumped over to the indicated location, but he came back two minutes later with a disappointed expression.

"Madam.."
I still hadn't looked at him. I gritted my teeth to hold back a curse. "What do you want? I'm not your tour guide," I grumbled. He didn't sulk. He was still smiling. "Please," he pleaded with puppy-dog eyes. Despite myself, I raised my eyes and frowned behind my glasses, he radiated so much positivity. "Damn it. You're not a child, as far as I know," I grumbled as I stood up, feeling my muscles numb from lack of movement. My head was spinning a little, then I regained my balance. He followed me closely. Then when we arrived at the products, I was surprised to find that indeed, there were no more of them.

I cursed myself and him and took the key hanging from my pants by a link. I unlocked the warehouse door and went in, but a second later, I felt him still behind me, and I ended up losing my patience. "Sir! You can't just do whatever you want," I yelled at him.
When he lowered his head, embarrassed, I felt a little sorry, but he quickly regained his composure and his smile won me over. He apologized, mischievous and clumsy, and as he was leaving the room, he bumped into a box, which pushed another one, and like dominoes, there was a tumble.

But I had good reflexes and pushed him at the last moment, slamming him against the shelf. When the earthquake ended, and we breathed again, I realized that we were squeezed into the tiny place of debris, my arm against the cabinet, my chest pressed against his, I could smell a sweet lemongrass scent emanating from him, but above all, I saw his hand protecting my head from the impact.

I looked up at his face from which a drop of panic had slipped, however, his expression quickly turned crimson, ashamed, and he stammered hundreds of apologies, bouncing back. Finally, I found the package of candies he wanted, after giving him a good lesson.

But after his purchase, he stayed longer than expected, bought bandages and antiseptic in addition to that, and then, against my will, forced me to sit down to bandage my leg, which had taken a superficial cut with a piece of glass.
As he left, he offered me two candies. I didn't like sugar. He injured his hand, the one that protected me, but he didn't say anything. He cared for me without worrying about himself.

I didn't know his name.

*

I am an invisible student. And it's for the best: I have a hard time tolerating anyone. Sometimes I get tired of my own presence.

My desk mate and I never speak to each other. He sleeps, and I let him sleep. I am glad it is like this, I wouldn't be able to handle another chatterbox. It was enough to see Aayan make his way into my life with his endless desire for communication. It was an exhausting experience and I wasn't ready to repeat it.

But today something surprising is happening. Our old history teacher has moved away. She was young and popular, but I couldn't stand her: she always wanted me to participate. I wasn't a bad student, and despite my internal protests, I showed a better side of myself than what my brain thought and all the abject criticisms it launched.