Frameless Walls // SBI ANGST

2/ceiling

The blond tugged the duvet closer to his chest and rolled onto his back, cringing at the throbbing in his head accompanied by the ache in his joints from the uncomfortable position he had fallen asleep in, before letting his eyes flicker open.

He groggily rubbed at his eyes as he sat up against the sofa and peered around the living room lazily, pulling his knees up to his chest in the process.

"Morning, sleeping beauty." Sapnap huffed from the other sofa, a bowl of cereal resting on his knees. The younger groaned and dragged a hand over his face in response, wincing as every little sound grated against his ears. 

"What's th' time?" Tommy questioned, his voice thick with sleep as he stared at the older.

The Texan huffed a laugh and retrieved his iPhone from his pocket and stared at it for a moment, his eyebrows screwed together before realisation settled into his gaze.

"Uh- sorry, it's half ten. Is it cool if Karl and Quackity come over later? You've met Karl before, Quackitys chill too." Sapnap answered him after a moment, looking expectantly over at the younger.

This time it was the blonds turn to furrow his eyebrows in confusion. "Why are you asking me? They're your boyfriends." He teased with a smirk, but the trios dynamic was confusing to everyone - Tommy doubted that they even knew what they were.

"...You're my roommate, man. I wanna make sure you're comfortable here too."

The gentle tone and care beneath the mans words left a mark on his cheek, they poured salt into an open wound hidden deep beneath his chest. Tommy blinked a few times before quickly recovering, letting a forced laugh escape his dry lips.

"A friend of Sapnaps is a friend of mine." Tommy joked before the olders words ran circles in his mind. "...I'm not your roommate, though."

"You sleep on my sofa, you pay rent and you drink all my beer." Sapnap deadpanned.

"Hey." Tommy tore his gaze away from where it had been set on his own knees to face Sapnap.

"If anything I'm doing you a favour there, big man. Your beer tastes like ass."

"Then stop drinking it!?"

"Nah." Tommy breathed as he stood up. "I don't think I will." He dropped the duvet on the arm of the sofa before running a hand through his hair and looking around questioningly, bringing a hand to his head to rub at it slightly.

"Where do you keep your painkillers again?"

"Kitchen, top cabinet above the microwave." Sapnap answered as he peered back down at his phone when it vibrated against his knees.

 "I told you to go easier on the booze, kid, your livers gonna fall out of your ass and your brain cells are g-"

"If I wanted a dad lecture, I'd go to my parents house... or reunite with Philza." Tommy cut the man off, retrieving a pack of paracetamol from the cabinet and swallowing two dry; unsure whether the sudden lump in his throat was caused by the dry swallowing or not.

"I don't think that last one is a bad idea, you know." Sapnap pressed, and for a moment he met the blonds eyes. 


Desperate green met mournful, shattered blue.

When Tommy said nothing in response, Sapnap continued. "They did an interview a few days ago actually, it's all over my twitter feed. Did you know Tech-"

"Stop." Tommy cut the man off. "I don't wanna thin-" He took a deep breath in, clenching his jaw while trying to subside the sudden feeling of nausea. "Look, I don't care, okay? I don't care about any of that. Don't talk to me about it." 

Sapnap held his hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, sorry." 

Tommy didn't miss the look of pity in the olders eyes, the frown betrayed his force chilled persona. He shook his head and clenched his jaw. "It's... it's fine, just-- I'm gonna go shower." 

"Hey, Tom?" Sapnap called after him just as he was making his leave to the bathroom. "Maybe you should think about reuniting with Phil, or one of them at least. I won't talk about it anymore if you don't wanna, but just think about it?" 

The blond hesitated in the doorway and swallowed thickly. "I'll think about it." He lied.

Sapnap only nodded in response before going back to his phone. 


They both knew it was a lie, and maybe they were both okay with that.

///

Tommy stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist before wiping the steam off of the mirror.

He almost wished he hadn't.

A stranger greeted him in the reflection.

Damp and overgrown blond curls fell into his face, covering part of his eyes and only worked to point out the bags painted beneath his eyes. His cheekbones were more prominent than ever along with his collarbones, and his whole body just felt empty.

Somewhere beneath the exhausted remains of his body was an energetic boy, full of life and hopeful for his future.

He remembered sitting on a chair besides Phil and kicking his feet above the floor, watching as his small sneakers swung above the floor and a man he had seen countless times walk in and take the interviewers seat.

He remembered the man asking him what his favourite thing to do outside of filming was.. and he remembered not knowing.

He remembered going home that night, listening to the muffled shouting of his parents and wondering if he would ever make it out of there. And he knew he could never forget the feeling of having to plaster on a smile for thousands of strangers, only to forget how to be himself in the process.

He knew he still felt like that, deep down. He had always been Tommy, and never Tomos.

Taking a deep breath, he teared his gaze away from the mirror and gripped the counter before gathering the fresh set of clothes he had brought into the bathroom with him and began to get dressed for the day. It almost felt like a chore, though everything did to him.

Muffled voices floated through the house as Tommy unlocked the bathroom door and stepped into the hallway, already missing the warmth of the shower water. He ran a hand through his damp curls before shoving his hands into the pockets of his red hoodie, it was slowly becoming too small for him as the years passed on and the white stripes on the sleeves were slowly fading out, but it was an old gift from someone he couldn't remember the name of and he felt weird about giving it away.

[A/N: tommy crumbssss.... and boy do i have plans for his character. 

feedback and comments appreciated ((: 

how are you? how was your weekend?]