paper balls, shidou ryusei ✓

𖥻 07 - paper balls.

you ran along the streets, while your heart beat faster and faster. you had put the note with the three very specific words, which were obviously addressed directly to you, in your pocket, so that ryusei wouldn't get the idea of denying everything.

you specially applied your perfume, which he liked so much, and you also put a lot of effort into your appearance - you wanted to please him.

after ten minutes, you finally reached ryusei's driveway. in front of his front door, you leaned against the wall for the first time, exhausted, to catch your breath.

now that you were here, you only realized how nervous you actually were.

because you would confess your feelings to ryusei, would tell him that you had also fallen in love with him, that you saw more in him than just a best friend.

shaking heavily you breathed in and out.

would he reject you, despite the declarations of love on the little notes?

really, you had no idea how he would react when you stood in front of him and confronted him.

but perhaps.. you had to swallow hard. maybe ryusei would even return your feelings; if the sentences he must have written were true, everything would change between the two of you.

a change that you wanted for years.

were you getting your hopes up too high?

what if it was all just a misunderstanding and the sentences weren't addressed to you at all?

however, that was quite unlikely, because you hardly believed that ryusei could mean another person named y/n.

you took another deep breath before turning to the front door and pressing the doorbell once.

there was really no turning back now and you stood there tensely, waiting for the door to be opened for you.

lost in thought, you thought about how the conversation might go. would you be the happiest girl on earth within the next 24 hours, or would you have to come away with a broken heart?

you hoped for the former, of course.

slowly you heard footsteps coming from inside and it didn't take a second longer before the door opened and a more than confused ryusei stood opposite you, both of you briefly examined each other.

ryusei's hair was sticking out in all directions, his hands were in the pockets of his jogging pants. his face was sunken and you could see slight signs of dark circles on his otherwise healthy skin. in general, for some reason, he seemed somehow battered and exhausted.

but despite that, right now he was the most beautiful boy you've ever seen.

"y/n," it escaped from him quietly in an incredibly raspy voice that you had not expected to hear like that. "what are you doing here? didn't i tell you to stop talking to me?"

clearing your throat, you ignored your much too fast heartbeat. "i-i wanted to.. about, uh..." you didn't really know how to start the conversation.

crossing his arms ryusei stood there, waiting. his blonde, messy hair exposed part of his forehead, making him look incredibly attractive in your eyes. "ryusei, i have a-also, um..." you bit your lower lip uncertainly.

you were far too excited to be able to confront him and reveal your feelings.

it drove you crazy to know that your opposite could feel exactly the same as you did for him.

ryusei just snorted and shook his head in annoyance. "i don't want to know, okay? what's so hard about understanding that i don't want anything to do with you anymore? just go, y/n, what the fuck" he took a step forward to push you away from the entrance.

with an ice-cold glare that instantly froze the blood in your veins, he was about to slam the door right in your face. however, you woke up from your short stare and sprang forward to put your foot in between.

irritated, ryusei looked up, whereupon you looked him straight in the eyes, which instantly threw both of you off your game; you felt your cheeks getting warmer.

shortly afterwards, you two broke off your eye contact and cleared your throats a little uncomfortably while each of you took a step back.

there was a brief silence between you, which you nervously tried to break. "the, uh.. paper balls..." you broached the subject, whereupon the blonde ones eyes widened a bit.

"was there any particular reason why you threw them at me?" now it was you who looked at him waitingly, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

ryusei, meanwhile, was looking everywhere but at you. "of course not! why would you ask me something like that? bro, you're pissing me off" he suddenly became grumpy as he continued to avoid your gaze.

if you didn't know any better, you would've actually buy it.

but of course you already knew that he wasn't telling the truth. you only nodded slowly, which made your opposite breathe a sigh of relief.

once again, your eyes met, which caused a tingling feeling in you. again you stood there indecisively as you ran your shaky hand through your hair, putting a strand behind your ear.

you wanted to just walk up to ryusei, grab him by the collar and plant a kiss on him, but first you wanted to clear up the whole thing.

"ryusei," you began softly, causing the person you were addressing to raise his head and look at you indefinably. "those sentences.. you wrote them, right?"

the blonde immediately drew in a sharp breath as the last word left your lips. wide-eyed, he stared at you, an overwhelmed expression spreading across his features. "i don't know what you're talking about, y/n," however, the fact that you didn't say anything in response, still silently prompting him to answer your question, seemed to unnerve him. "so, uh-" he stammered, completely thrown off track, while his cheeks began to get warm. "that's just how i wrote it, okay? you're getting annoying, y/n, like always. who would even collect them and unfold them, too"

your heart contracted painfully.

so ryusei was actually in denial.

why was he doing this?

and most importantly - why did it hurt so much?

silently you pulled the piece of paper out of your pocket, which you had taken with you just in case.

you felt ryu's shocked look on you as you unfolded the piece of paper again and the words i love you, y/n literally laughed in your face.

with an uncertain feeling, you handed the piece of paper to the blonde, who now held it and slowly read it through.

"this is your writing and my name. this is what you must have written, ryusei" you looked down, not daring to look at him.

thinking, you bit hard on your lower lip while your heart pounded almost uncomfortably against your chest. all the feelings you were experiencing were literally tearing your insides apart. you were afraid, almost terrified of what might come next.

however, when still nothing came from ryusei, you looked up cautiously.

your chest immediately began to hurt when you looked at his face and as if he had felt your gaze on him, ryusei now looked up as well, whereupon your eyes crossed again.

but this time, ryusei's gaze had nothing abhorrent in it. instead, there were so many unspoken feelings in it, which almost took your breath away.

slowly you took a few steps toward him, your heart pounding as you slowly lifted your hand to place it on his cheek.

"i just want to know if what you wrote is true"  you breathed softly, shedding a tear.

the blonde bit his lower lip as he looked into your glassy eyes. he took his time answering, which almost drove you crazy.

"it's true, y/n. everything i wrote is true"