paper balls, shidou ryusei ✓

𖥻 08 - last paper balls.

time almost seemed to stand still.

no one said a word, only your irregular breaths and beating hearts could be heard, as well as the chirping of the birds in the background, which were oblivious to all the emotional chaos here.

you were aware that ryusei might actually be standing by his feelings, but hearing this from his own mouth and facing him surpassed everything.

you couldn't say anything, were just incredibly overwhelmed, and stared at your former best friend with wide-open eyes.

everything that was written on the little notes was true.

ryusei loved you.

"what are you waiting for, y/n? insult me, come on. tell me how stupid i am to think that-"

"shut up!" you clenched your hands into fists as you bit down on your lower lip and took one deep breath.

why did ryusei think of you that way?

did he really think you would hate him because of that?

"please just shut up" you breathed again as tears were now running down your cheeks.

both of you looked at each other silently as you cried silently to yourself, trying to sort out your thoughts.

finally you bridged the last distance between you to finally do again what you've missed so incredibly over the last months.

slowly you put your arms around ryusei's upper body and hugged him, immediately you felt him tense up and hold his breath, but instead of loosening your grip, you just pressed yourself tighter against him, then buried your face in the crook of his neck and took a deep breath.

how much you missed his smell.

the blonde one relaxed as well, and now just as hesitantly put his arms around your waist, making everything inside you tingle.

you felt him sniffing you and heaving a thoughtless sigh of relief.

as you too gently rubbed your nose against his neck, you could actually hear his strong pulse, which also made your own heartbeat go up.

"ryusei, you're an idiot. you know i can't do without you" you mumbled softly into his neck, which unintentionally gave ryusei goosebumps.

immediately, you had to stifle a smile, as you never thought you would have such an effect on ryusei.

"i-i know, i'm so sorry for everything. i just thought that maybe if i would get away from you or that you hating me would be better for both of us," he whispered softly. "nevermind, we can still be.. well, best friends, if that's what you want at all. i'll try to hold back, y/n."

as if you had just burned yourself on him, you immediately broke away from him and jumped backwards.

stay best friends?

didn't he realize that you felt the same way?

confused, ryusei opened his mouth and was about to ask what he had said wrong, but you immediately interrupted him. "best friends? what makes you think i still want to be friends with you after all this?" you asked, a bit disappointed, alluding to the slips of paper, which ryusei understood quite differently, however.

because despite the softness in your voice, you saw a a pained expression slide across ryusei's face.

"i can understand that you no longer want to have anything to do with me. i was-no, i'm an asshole and i just messed up, y/n. i'm so sorry" while he continued to apologize and stare sadly at his feet, you just couldn't take it any longer.