Undertale: Reason to Live

Chapter 37

Frisk and Sans quietly ate dinner together. They both knew what Frisk had seen. They could recall it as if it had happened yesterday.

Frisk woke up on the flowers after resetting for the last time. He was slow to stand up.

His determination was almost completely gone from him. Frisk had once again killed a monster. He had tried so hard to hold back and only weaken him, so he could spare him. But it was still too much, and Frisk, feeling unworthy to continue or simply go back to a save, had reset again.

He rolled back his sleeve and examined his scars. There was almost nowhere else Frisk could cut to get out his blood to use the magic. He had lost count of how many times he had reset.

Frisk rolled his sleeve back down and sighed in despair. He was so tired. Frisk's efforts felt fruitless at best and damaging at worst. He couldn't take his failure any longer. His emotions inside him were painful and almost dead.

Frisk listlessly walked through the corridor towards Toriel's home when he ran into Flowey again.

"Hey, there!" Flowey said mockingly. "Are you feeling okay? You look awful."

Frisk didn't respond and tried to walk past him, but Flowey moved in front of him and blocked his path with vines.

"Where are you going?" Flowey asked. "Are you really going to try to face the world with your crushed hopes and dreams again? Haven't you had enough? Haven't you realized by now that what you want is impossible? Don't you know that you just aren't capable of making it happen?"

Frisk despondently dropped onto his knees and silently tried to hide his tears.

"Awww, don't worry, buddy," Flowey said. "Your best friend has made something for you that might just help you feel better."

Flowey brought out a vine a pod of nectar in front of Frisk.

"I hope you like it," Flowey said. "I made it myself."

Frisk grimaced and pushed the pod away.

"Now, now," Flowey chided bringing the pod close to his face again and used his vines to hold his hands down. "There will be none of that. Why don't you drink with me, kiddo? I'll have some, too. Of course, it will benefit you more than it will me."

Frisk refused to look at him and struggled violently in fear before Flowey pulled the nectar to his lips and forced him to drink a sip.

Immediately, Frisk felt light-headed but oddly numbed as if his emotions were dead. It was a great feeling, but it only lasted for about a minute before Frisk's emotions started flooding in more powerfully than before until everything he had been holding back was flowing out to the infinite degree.

"There," Flowey said while letting Frisk's hands go. "Isn't that better? Why don't you drink some more? It's a special kind of medicine I made just for you. It makes all the nasty feelings go away temporarily. If you drink it, you can forget."

The withdrawal effects were immediate and painful. Frisk looked at the ground and did everything he could to keep his feelings from making him scream. It wasn't working so he curled up into a ball on the ground.

Flowey continued, "Oh, no. Are you feeling bad again? Hurry up and drink some more nectar or you'll feel worse. If you don't, you'll stay up all night and all those icky thoughts will come back. You don't want that. Do you?"

"It's a drug…" Frisk whispered in frightened realization.

"So, what if it is? It's making you feel better. Isn't it? Trust me. You need this little poison to make you forget your problems. I know how you're feeling. You're stuck with those thoughts of all the things you could do but won't, all your potential that you'll never see, and the promises that you can only make. All of it is haunting you. You know it is, and it will never, ever stop."

Frisk's entire body kept shaking. He wanted the nectar more than he wanted anything, and his determination wasn't enough to resist anymore. His head was spinning, and his vision was blurring as his HP kept dropping while his body racked with his sobs.

"Drink up the nectar, little one," Flowey said pulling the nectar closer to Frisk's face. "I promise you'll forgot all about the pressure in your mind if you do what I say. I can make you feel okay and drive away all those ugly, wugly memories away if you let me. You'll forget that person you were and all the other monsters who resist every kindness you show them. You've pushed yourself too hard, Frisk, and I think you're finally realizing it yourself, that you can't change the world by willpower alone. What you want is pointless and far too painful for you to bear. But if you drink the nectar, it will make your mind still."

Frisk was too weak, so he took another sip. This time, the sobbing stopped, and the numbness completely took over, but it wasn't a relief. It was despair, a hellish feeling all its own. He could only stare as if he were staring into a dark abyss.

"Look around, child," Flowey said as his face grew more intimidating. "What do you see? The correct answer is a whole lot of nothing, which is what you have done. You're all alone. Cut off from the world of man and of monster. You'll never see the stars or the sun ever again. Think about that. Isn't that depressing? Do you want to know what the funny part is, though?"

Frisk gave no response.

"The funny part is that you have brought this on yourself with your failure and your stupid dreams. It's all your fault because you didn't have the guts to finish what you started. You just wanted to save your pathetic friends and be a hero, but now, I think all you're ready for is to be Asgore's next human sacrifice."

Frisk again didn't respond.

"You can avoid that fate however," Flowey said. "If you just let me take you soul. You and I will get to be best friends forever. Wouldn't that be wonderful? You will always be close to my heart and away from the so-called friends you can't save, but that's not all. You'll be filled with that nectar all the time. You can spend eternity with me not feeling a thing. Trust me. It's the closest to heaven that you'll ever be. Perhaps in time, you could even forget…"

"No," Frisk whispered using the last of his determination to fight against his numbness. "If they knew, they could help me…"

"No one will ever believe you, Frisk."

Just then, Toriel swept in burning Flowey's vines with her fire magic, scaring him off, and healing Frisk one more time.

Toriel said her familiar lines, and Frisk followed her into the ruins.

Despite his healing, he still felt the oncoming despair as he did before he saw Flowey, but he had one last hope. If Frisk could convince Toriel to believe his story if she tried to fight him again and, maybe, just maybe things would be better. If not, that would be the end of him.